Eel Sushi

June 28, 2010

2010-06-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

Lieber Familie,

It is wonderful to hear that all of you are doing so well! Way to go Cecily for nailing a good job and for helping out our wonderful Großeltern (Grandparents)! Way to go Joe for the raise and for the job security! Way to go mom with all the gardening, family history, and Zum Geburtstag (Happy Birthday)! Way to go Kyle for mastering the Language so well! And to top it off, Allie and Chis have a wonderful future in New York. It's so wonderful to hear that everybody is doing so well! It really helps curb the homesickness that finds its way in every now and again.

So the work here in Nienburg it starting to pick up a lot. We had a baptismal date last week, right? Well, It didn't really fall through because the commitment is still there, but the date isn't there anymore. She feels like she needs t know more before she gets baptised, which we understand and respect. BUT, in spite of that, she is progressing beautifully. We call her every night at around 9:00 when my new companion Elder Heyen and I start our daily planning. She enjoys it a lot, and she said last time that we were here brothers, which we thought was really awesome. We have a meeting with her on Thursday. Our Romanian investigator, Valerian Cobzas has also been dong much better. He was checked into the hospital last week (which is a good thing for us because that means he has a lot of time to meet with us), and yesterday when we met with him, he said he was feeling a lot better. e actually smiled, which I had never seen him do before. While he's been in the hospital, he has been reading the Book of Mormon in Romanian, a lot. We asked him how he felt about it, and he said that he believed it to be the word of God. So, last time we gave him what they like to call a "soft" commitment, where we basically asked "If you could get baptized, would you?". His answer was "I'll think about it". It's definitely a good sign.

So since Elder Farnsworth is gone, I am now leading the Nienburg Area, which as it turns out is quite difficult. I was stressed out because I didn't want my companion to be bored with us not having appointments, because as good as finding time is, you can only walk around for so long until you're tired of seeing the Nienburg Indenstadt (Downtown). However, things ended up working out beautifully this week, with about 14 appointments planned out, many of which with new investigators that we found in the Area Book and a couple that we picked up on the street. One is a lady we found with Straße Kontakt (street contacting) who had studied the Book of Mormon for a project while she was studying Religion in school. It will be neat to see where that goes, but my comp and I have a good feeling about it.

So, Elder Farnsworth is back in the land of Apple Pie, Football that doesn't use feet, and a botched form of English. That's right, the good ol' USA. My new companion in named Elder Heyen, and he comes from Coreneius, Oregon which is around Hillsboro. As it turns out, he's also a band geek. It was interesting when we met at the Bremen Hauptbahnhof (Main Train Station), because he asked which high school in Salem I was from. I told him I was from Sprague, and hen said "Have you heard of Rack Boy? That's me". As it turns out, he's from Glencoe High School, the band that started Rack Boy. He almost died when I told him that. Every now and again, he will just say "You're Rack Boy"!

So, as for the mission changes, things are going to be pretty much the same, save for the fact that this transfer is going to be only three weeks long instead of six. That's cool, because that means that Kyle and I will be lined up with transfers. I believe the mission is going to decide whether to keep me for three weeks or to release me three weeks early. Either way, my mission will be anything but average. I'm already in my second transfer, and I'm on my 5th companion (counting the MTC). This week is Zone Conference, so I will be meeting my new Mission President, Präsident Pimintel (sp?) of the Berlin mission. I'm not sure if that is the same one that Kurt Jungling had, but I'll ask this Friday. I'm also looking forward to it because the Elders in my German District in the MTC that I was with originally just came in, and my companion Elder Smith is going to be there at Zone Conference. Cool Stuff!

By the way, my Deutsch is getting a whole ton better. I've been making a bunch of phone calls and I feel a whole lot more comfortable talking to people on streets and at doors. Not perfect by a long shot, but a whole lot better than it was at the beginning of the transfer. One thing that helps is that whenever I get a song stuck in my head, I turn that into something useful be translating it in my head (Kommen zusammen! Jetzt! Über mich!)

Funny mission story time! So over this past weekend and week is Schützenfest, which is a shooting competition they have here in Nienburg. However, I haven't seen much shooting. Mostly just people using hat as an excuse to get wasted and for some reason they warrant it for marching band parades around Downtown Nienburg. Even at 11:30 at night. In case you have forgotten, our Wohnung (apartment) is right in the middle of downtown. I have never, once in my life, been kept up till 11:30 because of Marching bands being out to late, until last night. I have also never been woken up at 5:30 because of marching bands, until this morning. It ain't right, I tell ya!

So, if there is one thing that the mission has definitely helped me do, it's have a greater appreciation for the Atonement. When you think about it, with the eternal laws of Justice, the Atonement (accompanied by the Resurrection) makes for the greatest loophole ever to be conceived. Justice is still in full force while the sufficient Mercy is still extended. If you want a greater appreciation for the Atonement, go on a mission. It's amazing how the life and death of one person could change the very nature of Eternal laws.

I love you all, I'm glad that you're all doing so well, and I pray that you will all continue to progress in your love for the gospel, each other, and of course, Yours Truly.

Elder Adam Harris

P.S. Megan, I have decided to take you up on your offer to send me a package. I could really go for some Reese's Pieces, and good ol' Semi-American Top Ramen from the pouch, not the cup. You know how in the US, top ramen is like, 10 packs for a buck? It's almost one Euro per pack here! Rip Off!

June 22, 2010

2010-06-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

Leiber Familie,

Sorry this e-mail is a day late. Things were kinda nuts yesterday with train and bus problems, planned service opportunities that fell through and whatnot. So we're taking our e-mail time today.

So Mom, I think you would be proud of me out here. Since I don't have Facebook, video game devices, or free nights to hang out with friends and women, I have found that the best way to spend my free time is by reading. I have already finished the entire mission library (True to the Faith, Our Heritage, Our Search for Happiness, and Jesus the Christ) as well as the entire Book of Mormon. My goal now is to finish the entire Bible from cover to cover. By the way, have you ever read Jesus the Christ? It's a wonderful book that's very intellectually stimulating and testimony building at the same time.

So, Allie and Chris, thanks for the letters! Sorry I haven't written back, but postage can be costly, and since I'm allowed to e-mail you, that's how I will respond. I'm glad to hear that things are starting to fall into place with your future plans. Way to score to apple computer-like things (haha, light hearted joke at Mac products). As for learning German, Allie, it's an awesome opportunity for you to do so. If you were to ask me, I'd tell you that it's the coolest language ever. Good luck with everything, and thanks for the encouragement! I pray for you every day.

Megan, thanks for the e-mail! It does get kind of frustrating when people don't listen to us. The way I get past that is by remembering in Preach my Gospel how it defines successful missionaries. Not once does it say anything about the number of people taught or baptized, but instead, success is determined by the effort put in. Nobody can ever be held accountable for the agency of others. However, it is our responsibility to present the opportunity for them to use their agency in the right way. A few days ago, my comp and I had a quick tour up the tower of the local Cathedral, and at the end, he told us of an experience he had with missionaries years ago. He's protestant, and he said he was going to stick with it, and the missionaries respected his decision and were very polite to him and his family. He said that that memory has stuck with him. Cool stuff, ja?

It's great to hear that Nathan is following in my footsteps so well. I believe that if everyone in the world were more like me, there would be a lot less n00bocity, and a lot more awesome. Good luck to him with his Klavier (piano) endeavours. I'm nostalgic every now and again of summer vacation. I remember the good summers when I had a job, and when I has free days with no responsibility, it just felt so earned. Make the most of your summer vacations, Nathan. Eventually, they'll be the best memories you ever have.

So, as of yesterday, I found out that I will be staying in Nienburg. However, because Elder Farnsworth is going to be returning home this week, I get a new companion! His name is Elder Heyen, from a place called Cornelius, OR, which is apparently by Hillsboro. This next transfer will only be for three weeks because of the confusing boundary change, but I'm looking forward to the work that I will be doing here. Things are really starting to pick up.

For example, remember the Jamaican family that we were meeting with? Well, we weren't able to contact him for awhile, but we finally got to meet with him for a bit on Sunday. As it turns out, he still wants to meet with us, he had just been super busy with work and with driving school. See, in Germany, driving school is not only more hardcore, but it's mandatory. He showed us the practice test, and it was probably fifty pages long. However, he said after the test today, he will have a car and be able to get to church a lot easier. My new companion and I are going to be focusing our efforts on him this next transfer and hopefully extend a baptismal commitment.

Another investigator that we've had for awhile is a Romanian man named Valerian Cobzas who called us up earlier this week so we could assist him in taking his luggage so he could be admitted into the hospital. We don't know exactly what is wrong, but he believes it to be a liver problem. We have been visiting him and doing a couple short grocery runs for him. While in the hospital, he has been doing a lot of reading from a Romanian copy of The Book of Mormon, which he enjoys reading a lot. We figure as soon as he is healthy, we will be able to give him a Taufziel (Baptismal goal).

Finally, we had a joint teach with some senior missionaries in our district, The Galbraiths, and one of our investigators, Frau Reich. Last time, we committed her to pray about whether she needed to be baptised or not, and when we asked her how it went, she said that the answer was a very clear and distinct "yes". We extended a baptismal date for July 25th and she accepted! She's a very faithful woman, and we know that she's been spiritually prepared for this. All that needs to happen now is the teaching part.

I must say, I was very surprised and frankly very sad to hear about Grandpa's condition. However, if there are thing that I have learned while being on a mission, the first is about the strengthening and redeeming power of the Atonement. It's wonderful that I have the opportunity to share the greatest news in the history of the world, that the Atonement and the Resurrection were successfully executed and because of that, everybody can return to live with our Father in Heaven, and also we will be able to stay together as families. I remember a story that they told me in the MTC. I don't remember the details, but it involved a man who was on his death bed. Everybody was silent, and he said "So, does anybody here have a problem with the Plan of Salvation?". The more I study it and share it, the more I realize just how perfect of a plan it is. In German, the hymn goes "Gott bei mit uns bis aufweidersehen". It literally translates to "God be with us until we see each other again". Did you catch the subtle difference? US. The Lord's wisdom is infinite and perfect. All it requires from us is trust.

The field is white, and the Plan of Salvation, appropriately also named the Plan of Happiness, is in full force. I pray for you every day, and I'm glad to hear that you are doing everything you can to make the world a better place.

Love,

Elder Adam Harris

June 14, 2010

2010-06-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Family,

First things first.

Nathan: The e-mail address I have for you appears to be incorrect. Every time I try to send you and e-mail, it says that it doesn't work. What is the correct e-mail address for you?

Kyle: I have yet to experience being sick on the mission, but despite that, way to go on getting a date right there and then! Sounds like things are going awesome, keep up the good work!

So, this week has been interesting, like most weeks. So the WM (World Cup) started this week, and about 3/4 of all German cars have German flags hanging out of them, people have been wearing German attire, and every bar/cafe/restaurant has been watching. Last night, we could tell that the German team scored 4 points simply because we counted the times when all of Nienburg yelled simultaneously. In honor of this event, and because it was my only opportunity, I found a really cool scarf that sports the german flag colors and says "DEUTSCHLAND" on it for only 5 Euros. Also yesterday, while we were doing some Street Contacting, a group of 5-7 20-years olds saw us and when we walked by chanted enthusiastically "CHRISTIANTUM!" (Christianity). It's been a hardcore week.

The work is going along great! At church yesterday, we had two investigators at church. One was a man named Bodo whose wife joined the Church about 3 years ago, and the other was Sven Martin, one of our Hari Krishna friends who came even though we never really extended a commitment to. We found a lady a few weeks ago named Frau Reich who we met with, and as it turns out that although she's very faithful, she has never been baptized into any church. In response to that, we committed her to pray to see if she needed to be baptized, and she accepted the commitment. We are bringing with us this next time a senior couple from our district, Elder and Sister Galbraith so that we can have a more "intense" lesson on Thursday.

So, on Wednesday was my first Zone Conference and President and Sister Thimpson's last Zone Conference. It was a really neat experience because we could tell how much they were going to miss all of us, even us Golden's who have only been here for about 5 weeks. So, when the missions dissolve, those who are in an area down will go with the Frankfurt mission, and everybody else with Berlin. As it turns out, those who were originally part of the Hamburg mission will at the end be able to choose whether they want to stay for an extra three weeks or leave three weeks early because their transfers don't line up with ours perfectly. Pretty crazy stuff.

So for our P-Day today, we toured the Schloss Marienburg in the Hildesheim area. Schloss, by the way, means Castle. That's right, castle. Here in Germany, you could be on a train to a member's house and on the way just see a castle on a hill. Anyway, our district went and checked out the castle and I got some really neat pictures. By the way, mom, everyone here says I have a really nice camera. Thanks again!

So, this week since we don't have too many appointment, our efforts are again going to focused on finding. We are also trying to re-activate a lot of members here. Something interesting about Germany is that there are two kinds of members. Those that are really, REALLY, active and solid, and those that are really, REALLY inactive and like to avoid us. However, something really cool that happened about a week ago was we met with a less active named Sabrina who lives in our neighborhood. A man named Mariusz (Marioosh) was also there. I was able to really connect with them and get them enthused about the gospel because for about 15 minutes or so, we talked about, you guessed it, video games. It was the first time that my companion sat there while I did all the talking. Usually it's the other way around. He thinks that my purpose is to connect and baptize the nerds of Germany. If it works, why not?

Real quick, before I close, I would like to inform you of something funny/sad/embarrassing/predictable. So we had gotten out of Zone Conference ands arrived back in Nienburg and were rushed to an appointment we had at the church. We were hurrying on our bikes, and I tried to get onto the curb weird, flipped over, gashed my hand and leg, got a small hole in the knee of my slacks, and busted the wrist of my watch (again). It was right in front of a member too, who ironically has a conversion story that started with a bike accident with the Elders. Crazy stuff.

Well, I love you all, and I hope that you all continue to do your best. The gospel is true.

Elder Adam Harris

June 7, 2010

2010-06-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

Leiber Familie,

Dad: I got the e-mail from Bro. Jackson, and it's cool if you send them to me. Tell him I said thanks for the encouragement and that I hope he is doing well. BTW, tell him to tell Camercon Jackson that while I was in the MTC, I met a Cambodian sister named Sister Sorn that said she knew him. Small world amongst us Mormons, huh?

So this week has been definitely interesting in many aspects. The appointment we made on Sunday fell through because we went there and she wasn't home. One of our families with a lot of potential has been unreachable for some reason, and it seems like many of our investigators have just hit brick walls. During the weekly planning session, Elder Farnsworth and I decided that although they still have potential, our focus this week is going to be finding. That means lots of doors and street contacting.

HOWEVER, when we went to our scheduled appointment on Tuesday and she wasn't there, her next door neighbor came out and asked us what we were doing, and we told her. She then invited us to talk with her on her porch, and we had a really, REALLY good lesson with her. We gave her a copy of Das Buch Mormon and committed her to read 3 Nephi 11. We went back once to try and make an appointment with her, and she was a bit preoccupied with something, but she said that she read it and that it made sense. As far as potential investigators go, she is our priority this week. Her name is Daniela, and she's about 50 years old.

The weather here has been interesting. Because we are right by two different seas, it rains a lot here, but for the last couple days it's been really sunny. While my companion loves it, I am always finding opportunities to get into the shade. I am really glad I purchased some SPF 50 in Utah, otherwise I'd be dead. Then yesterday, after all the sun and cloudlessness, the clouds came in, but they kind of created a strange greenhouse effect and the whole city of Nienburg was just humid and hot. Last night to keep cool, I soaked my feet in cold water and drank tons of water. My companion would always say to me when we are walking "This weather is perfect for going swimming/running/wake boarding". I would respond with "This day is just perfect for going inside with the air conditioning and playing video games with a root beer float Popsicle". That's one thing I miss about the states. In Deutschland, they have no AC. They have heaters, yes, but no AC. So, when it's hot, you're hot, and that's all there is to it.

So, it appears that I have yet to inform you about my dietary situation. So, every Sunday we have an eating appointment with someone from the branch. Yesterday it was with die Familie Hegeman and they served Henschen (chicken), Kartoffeln (potatoes), Salat (salad) and Broccoli. It was perfect because we had just got done with fasting, and the food was good enough by itself. However, the rest of the time, we make our own food in our apartment. Every morning my companion and I have cereal, for lunch its usually a salami and cheese sandwich for me (sometimes i like to switch it up and make it grilled cheese, or put pickles in there), and for dinner, it's either a sandwich or pasta. Often right after dinner, I will have a toaster waffle with Nutella. I'm really glad that they have cheap off-brand nutella here for cheap. Every Wednesday, right after district meeting in Hannover, our dictrict goes to a place called Döner King where we get what's called a Döner. It's kind of like a Turkish Pita (I'd look it up on Wikipedia to get an idea of what it

Ok, so Kyle, what I'm going to tell you is going to blow your mind, and hopefully open it up at the same time. Remember that time when you were with the missionaries and you witnessed that Car accident? Remember when they gave her a blessing? Her name is Janae Heninger, and she's from Corvallis, and we met a few weeks before I left. She's been writing me, and what she says is that that event changed her life. She knows that because of the power of the Priesthood, she was able to make a full recovery and it really opened her eyes of the miracles the Lord brings. It's interesting in my perspective to see both ends of this event. Because of it, she has a firm testimony and an optimist.

So, yesterday was Zeignusversammlung (Testimony meeting), and I bore my testimony on the power of fasting. It was really cool because I was able to tell the story about when Kyle and I fasted for the Clear Signal gig in German. The Lord has really been helping me open my mouth.

I love you all, I love the Gospel, and I love fried food (though that's not really that important). I pray for you, and I'm glad to hear that all is well.

Mit Liebe,

Elder Adam Jensen Harris

May 31, 2010

2010-06-25T15:39:00.000-07:00

Diggety Diggety Deutschland

Lieber Familie,

Veilen Dank (thank you very much) for the e-mails! And thanks for the Battery Charger! I'm sorry if I was a bit rude last week. It's great that you all had a great week! It's awesome that missionary work is doing so well over there! That's the best thing for missionaries, as I'm sure you know, to be invited to talk to somebody by a member. I'm glad that you guys are now able to more easily manage ActionCOACH (actioncoach..actioncoach). I know how much of a pain that could be. Way to move all the stuff without the help of us manly men who are on missions!

Kyle, It sounds like you're doing awesome over there, as always! You're a big inspiration for me, and I hope you continue to good work. Likewise over here, I'm picking up the language better and better Jeden Tag (every day). Yesterday after church (which included an investigator there), we went to our Gemeindepräsident's (Branch President) house for a dinner appointment, and I was able to keep up with a good portion of their conversations. It's always cool when teaching a lesson or contacting when I understand what's being said and can throw in a few sentences. For example, we are trying to help a man in our branch to stop smoking, and in our last meeting with him, we suggested that he fast, and after talking about the strengthening power of fasting, I told him, in German, about our experience when we fasted to get a job, and the next day, dad basically handed us the Clear Signal gig on a silver platter. In addition, my comp and I taught the Sunday school lesson, and I was able to present a cool object lesson about how gaining a testimony for yourself is like eating a Keks (cookie) to find out what it's really like. The gift of tongues is real, and I can't wait to hear you speak Spanish with mom and dad and meg in April 2012.

So, today is P-Day, and since we are in Germany, the elders here like to take day trips during P-Day time, so today we went to Hildesheim, a city south of Hannover where some other Elders from our district are. The Indenstadt (downtown) is about three or four times the size of Nienburg's, and we spent the day checking out three of the large cathedral's here, and let me tell you, even though they have been remodeled for damage from WWII, they are beautiful on the inside. I took a ton of pictures, and I'll be sending some home when I get the opportunity. In one of the churches is a rose bush that has been there for 1,000 years. No joke. Being from Oregon, I felt a sense of duty to go see that, and i felt like I'd be making the Harris side of the family especially proud for that.

Allie and Chris, the artwork in German cathedral's in incredible. Like seriously, incredible. I am excited for when you get the chance to come here, because you would LOVE all the really cool old stuff (and all the really cool new stuff). Seriously, the bigger cities in Germany have something for everyone. Even LDS buildings, hehe. I took a bunch of pictures of the artwork here to show you when I return, but on thing I want to mention in particular that we saw in the last Cathedral we went to, St. Micheal's in Hildesheim (and forgive me for not remembering the name), but it's the black pillar with the spiraling episodes of Christ's life. It was there, and I got a picture of it. Do you know what I'm talking about? BTW, Chris, Wie ist dein Deutsch?

So yesterday was an atmospherically interesting day. What that means is that it was nice in the morning, thunderstorms and rain in the afternoon, and when we went back to our apartment, the clouds broke and it was nice again. Despite the weather, my companion and I still went out to share the fruit, though we tried the door's instead of the usual street contacting. The second to last door we ran into was a very nice woman and her young son, who were happy to make an appointment for Dienstag (Tuesday). Elder Farnsworth and I say that she is "golden".

So, have any of you ever heard of a religion called Hari Krishna? Well, there are a couple of monks from there living in Nienburg, and my companion and I dropped by to talk with them. The cool thing about them is that you don't need to prepare to have a cool experience with them, because they would ask questions all the time. We talked a lot about Joseph Smith, and the Golden Plates, all while eating vegetarian Wurst made out for Tofu that was quite delicious. They're very spiritual and kind men, and very respectful of our beliefs. One of them even asked if he could purchase a German, leather Triple Combination. It was also cool to learn a little about their religion, because those were the kinds of things I liked to study before the mission on Wikipedia.

So in Nienburg, something that's a big deal is something called Spargel, which if you've heard of it before you know that it'd basically just white asparagus. In Nienburg, Spargel is like a celebrity, and this past weekend there was a whole Festival over the stuff. We didn't do much street contacting because everyone was partying and many were drunk. As we were making some phone calls outside of our apartment complex, a drunk guy on the end of the alleyway yelled and pointed at us and in German said "Mormons! I'm calling the Police on you!". My companion explained that we lived there, but the walked off for a bit, then walked back with talking into a cell phone, and pointed at us again. We were both kind of hoping the cops would show up, just so we could make contact with them.

Well, my dear family, I love you all, and I hope you are all doing well. We are all enlisted till the conflict is O'er. Happy are we! Happy are we! I love this Evangelium (gospel), i love the Schriften (scriptures), and I love this Arbeit (work).

-Elder Adam Harris

May 24, 2010

2010-06-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Family.

It is Monday here in Germany, which means that I sent you all an e-mail about a week ago. I checked my e-mail today, and save for my awesome Zwillingsbruder (twin brother) nobody had e-mailed me! :( No letters, no e-mail. Nothing. Is everything alright at home? Are you all alive and safe? Is my BATTERY CHARGER being sent? Has my new address been put on Facebook? I do worry about these things, after all.*

*WHOA! Never mind. Right as I was about to send this, I saw that I had a new e-mail. Thanks mom (Mutter)! Glad to hear that you're doing what you can to build up the kingdom! And for Cecily and Megan, way to be pro-honor code! BTW, I sent some pictures home that my Companion took. They should be there this week. Curses for living so far away and the long time for postage to arrive!

Thanks Kyle, for the awesome e-mail, and congrats on all the hard work you're doing! It's apparent that the Lord is blessing you because of it. As a fellow missionary now, I understand how hard missionary work is. There are a lot of old people here, and while old people are great, they aren't the easiest to set up lessons with. My companion, Elder Farnsworth, and I are instead trying our best to find young new families. One in particular is a Jamaican family, Kenny and Jhony (the Frau, or wife) and their two year old daughter. They've come to church a few times, and our goal is to set a date this week. It's hard because they are busy a lot and we can't meet that often, but every time we do, the spirit is so strong, and I can tell that he wants to know. I pray for you all the time, so keep up the good work! (Post some pictures in the e-mails if you can).

We got two new investigators this week, one of which is almost ready to be baptized already, pretty much. We showed her the Restoration video, and my companion asked her how she felt, and she said that she had a "gottlichkeit" feeling. That means 'godly'. We are excited when we here things like that, as you can imagine.

So just today, my companion and I just got out of an appointment with a lady who had removed her name from the records from the church but wants to come back, which was awesome because it was at a members house, die Familie Hegeman, who are probably one of the most solid LDS couples I have ever met, they help out a ton with the missionary work. We had a delicious lunch and taught her about genealogy, and it was great for two reasons. The first is that we all felt the spirit and love for each other and from our Himmlicher Vater (Heavenly Father), and I understood a great deal more of what they were saying. I notice that every day, my comprehension and speaking ability get better. The Gift of Tongues is a real and wonderful blessing. The best way to practice is with the members, because they know that I'm new and they know what I'm doing, so they are very gracious about my German speaking abilities.

Anyways, after the appointment, we were heading home when my companion said 'let's talk to these guys', a black and arabic man wearing balla clothes. I said 'sure? why not?' and he just goes up to them and asks if they're playing basketball and if we could join, and they said 'keine Problem' (no problem). We played with em for a bit, got to know them, and in the end, they became contacts. We're going to try to set up an appointment ASAP.

So, I'm not sure if I told you last week, but something they have here in Deutschland is something called a Döner (pronounced 'dewner'), which is like a ginormous Turkish Pita. They are really, REALLY good. Speaking of food, if you want to learn how to not be a picky eater, go on a mission. I've been fed tomatoes about three times, and being the polite man that I am, I have eaten them all. I have also eaten a good deal of Rot Kohl, which is translated as Red Cabbage. They really like that stuff here in Deutschland, and though it's going to take some getting used to, I have no choice but to eat it. It's not bad or anything, but it's quite different from Mom's cooking.

BATTERY CHARGER...

So, for the accident of the week. We were headed to Hannover for Dictrict meeting and Zone meeting, and on the way back, we took the subway, or 'U-Bahn', in the city. It was pretty packed, and I was standing right by the door. As the subway stops, a man on the bus pointed at the door. I has no idea what he was trying to say until the door opened and nearly crushed me between some hand rails on the train. It was quite embarrassing, but I've learned my second lesson about German safety and transportation.

So there is a boy in our branch named Sven Robin Freiman. He goes by Robin. He is twelve years old, and oh my gosh, he looks JUST like Nathan. He has the same hair and everything. Turns out, after getting to know him a bit, he ACTS just like Nathan, too (the twelve year old Nathan). I swear, he is Nathan's German Twin. So, my companion was giving me a tour of the church building, and we find him upstairs, playing on a Nintendo DS. I ask out of natural curiosity of all things video games "Was spielst du?" (what are you playing?). His answer? "Pokemon". I ran over there, looked at the screen, and lo and behold, he was playing Pokemon Diamond version. We had a thorough conversation for about 15 minutes about Pokemon. For me, it wasn't really about the Pokemon, it was about the fact that he was so much like Nathan. I really miss that guy and all the geeky conversations we had, in English. How are you, man?

I also miss American Burger King. We had German Burger King the other day (which as it turns out is still just called Burger King), and it just wasn't the same, ya know?

The city here is beautiful, but I can't help you gain a testimony of that without my battery charger...BATTERY CHARGER.

Well, I love you all, and I'm glad to hear that your doing well. I'm trying my hardest to serve the German People as well as the Lord while I'm here. I pray for you all the time.

-Elder Adam Harris

Scripture of the Day: 1 Nephi 3 : 7
Hymn of the Day: God Be With You Till We Meet Again

First Email From Germany

2010-05-17T20:44:00.001-07:00

Leiber Familie,

Glad to hear that all is well. In regards to the question about my battery charger, please send it ASAP. I can buy an adapter for the plugs, but I need the charger. My battery is completely dead. My address in Nienburg is:

Elder Adam Harris
Georgestraße 24
31582 Nienburg
Deutschland

Over our phone call, Mom asked me to give some details about the mission. So, here we go!

My New companion and trainer from Atlanta, Elder Farnsworth, is a solid guy, or as he would say, a stud. He's a hard work and a smart worker, has a great testimony, and has been helping me out a lot with learning the language and how to teach and whatnot. Nienburg is a lovely little city, right along teh Weser river. If you looked on a map, Nienburg is right between Hannover and Bremen, two pretty large cities. One thing thats really cool about Germany is that most of the streets here are cobblestone instead of paving. Our apartment is close to downtown, and there are few paved roads.

In germany, it's easy to get from one city to the other because of the vast network of trains (the german word for 'train' is 'Zug' pronounced 'tzoog'). We take the train almost every day to get tp the other cities in our area such as Neustadt and Landesbergen. I love the train rides. Beign around them has reminded me of my old obsession for Thomas the Tank engine.

So, my first day, my companion and I did a lot fo street contacting, which was a lot of fun. It was really interesting though because in Germany it was Father's Day, or Vaterstag. They have tons of holidays here in Germany, and many people are drunk those days. Here is germany, it's legal to smoke and drink in more public places then the US. As my companion and I were heading home that night, a drunk couple was yelling, in english "hey! Mormons!" and they came up to us and told a bunch of weird rumors about some members of the branch here. Good times.

Another interesting story. So in Germany, the sidewalks have different colored bricks on the right and on the left, so thta bicyclists can more easily get by. If you hear someone ring behind you, it means to move aside. Somebody did that behind me, and i panicked in a way that caused him to run into me. You have never experienced true fear when untill somebody yells at you in the language you don't fully understand yet, especially Germany.Luckily, I was unscathed from the whole experience, but it was quite the adrenaline rush.

The Mission president, President Thompson, and his wife are amazing people. When we were jetlagged and tired from the long flights, they were very welcoming, gracious, loving, and very encouraging of our task at hand. Sister Thompson made some amazing food, and they were all just wonderful. I only knew them for about a day, but they feel like my second parents. It'll be sad when they go back to the states next transfer.

The branch here is pretty small, with onle about 30 members and maybe half of them being active. However, they are a solid group of saints. they don't have an actual church building. The church is an old house that the church bought, remodeled, and dedicated. That's also how one of the the church buildings is in Hamburg. I'll send some pictures home as soon as I have my Battery Charger. PLEASE SEND THAT ASAP.

Hamburg itself is an enourmous city, and yes, it is very industrious. They have one of the largest construcution ports in the world where they build cruise ships. Those things are enormous, with huge cranes and whatnot. Many people get around the city by train because of how big it is.

We have some good, solid investigators. One is a man named Loku, who we set a date for baptism as a goal for him to obtain a testimony through prayer. Another is a Jamaican man named Kenny who says that he has the same questions as Joseph Smith, and we're hoping at the end of the week, he will be ready to commit to baptism. There is also a Romanian man named Valerian who we are helping to stop drinking. Whoever says that Germany, or anywhere in Europe, is not a baptising mission is wrong. Miracles are happeneing here, and I'm starting to see them happen.

As far as housing goes, my companion and I live in an apartment in downtown Nienburg. It's a nice clean place with a washing machine, bathroom, kitchen, and (get this) a sound system. Apparently an old investigator didn't need it anymore, so he gave it to us. Surround sound, baby. From the windows, we can see the large Church building, which chimes every fifteen minutes. Most German towns have such churches, it turns out.

The weather here is much like it is in Salem, which was nice, because I was getting a tad dry skinned from the weather in Provo. Itäs moist, and cold. The only difference is it's windy here because there arn't many mountains in my area. Lots of flat land here in Deutschland.

Nathan spent all day watching TV? I leave the country and NOW you decide to get TV? Oh well.

How's Kyle doing?

Well, I love you all, and I'm doing my best to work as hard as I can. Germany is a beautiful country with beautiful people. These are God's children, and I can tell he loves them all. I pray for you constantly, and I hope you all are enjoying life.

Tchüs!

-Elder Adam Harris

Dawn of the First Letter (Get the Reference?)

2010-05-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

Nintendood's first letter came in a couple of days ago, so here it is.
-Captain Awesome

Dear Mom and family,

Ich bin selir gue! Thanks for the letter you sent me, my companion Elder Smith has gotten tons of letters and two packages already. He's a nice guy with a strong testimony, but he's really quiet and kind of shy, so he's taking me a bit to get to know him.

The food here is great, and the showers are easy to manage. I'm starting to doubt many of the "MTC Horror Stories". I'm loving here! It's a bit strange adjusting to the new lifestyle, but time will pass, and I'll keep growing.

I can already see the Gabe zum Zungeurede (Gift of Tongues) start to work. I'm learning a lost and speakiing better than ever!*

Thanks for all the prayers and the support. I love and miss you all, and will be sending home some pictures as soon as I can.

Avt Wedersehen!

-Elder Nintendood.

*Nintendood's proficiency in German has shortened his stay in the MTC to two weeks instead of nine. Crazy, isn't it?

Oh, the Mormanity!

2010-04-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

I may just give up computers and become a suitcase model.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the last direct post of Eel Sushi from me, Nintendood. As of tomorrow, the blog will be updated by my younger brother, who wishes to be called by Captain Awesome.

Before I begin, I would like to answer an interesting comment from our viewer on YouTube, facetiousJAT. F-Jat writes:

facetiousJAT um star wars + lord of the rings = 9 unless you are excluding the old 3 or the new 3 movies for star wars, but a real fan wouldnt do that.

Thank you for your comment, and let me respond by saying that in order for me to pursue a career in Game Development, one is required to have basic arithmetic skills. Fortunately, That is something I have. I'm sorry if that wasn't apparent in my videos and blogs, but believe me, I am, indeed, able to add up three and six, no fingers required.

However, I must inform you that I am also, indeed, quite a star wars fan, and to be honest, that has never really been a contest. The fact remains that any movie involving Hayden Christensen* will never be included in my Top Ten. I mean Jumper? Really? Come on.

*That being said, the digitally remastered version of Return of the Jedi did Include Hayden Christensen. The difference is, he didn't open his mouth.

Your Friend,

-Nintendood

Usually I say that the internet is like a dinner party where one typically shouldn't bring up sex, politics, or religion in a conversation, but frankly, all I can think about right now is my faith, so here we go.

For those of you who are unaware, I am what many of you would call a Mormon*, meaning I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Every now and again when people found this out, the question would usually pop up: "so, what do Mormon's believe?" Interestingly, Joseph Smith was also asked this question, and in a response compiled a list of basic beliefs, often referred to as the Articles of Faith. They are as follows.

*Neat little peice of trivia. As stated above, the name of the church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, not the Mormon Church. The phrase "Mormons" is a nickname coined a while back.

1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in his son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

2. We Believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are: first, faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ; second, repentance; thirds, baptism my immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof

6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

11. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

So as I go forward with this mission, I will be dedicating the next two years of my time to share with people the faith that I have. Over the course of my mission, I expect to get the following questions.

"So, what's with the whole polygamy thing?"

The church does not practice polygamy, and the interesting fact about that is that most LDS (latter day saint) couples only get married once in their lives. Back during the election, it was funny how Mitt Romney was accused of polygamy when the irony of the situation is that most of the other republican candidates had been married more than once or even twice, with Governor Romney only having been married once. How about that, huh?

"So, wait, you guys don't drink coffee?"

We believe in something called the Word of Wisdom, which is basically a health code that the scriptures outline. It explains why eating good food is a good idea, why we should work and exercise, and why we should not take harmful substances such as drugs or alcohol into our bodies. Coffee contains a lot of caffeine, which is considered harmful and addictive, so as a church, we avoid it. Bring on the lemonade!

"So, you got a girlfriend back home?"

Nope.

I am going to give Captain Awesome the bridge now, but before I do, I would like to thank you all for the viewership and for listening to my rants and whatnot. When I become rich and famous, I'll give you the pleasure of being able to say "I was there back when".

Would you like to send me an e-mail? My new address is:

harris.adam@myldsmail.net

My Snail Mail address is:

Elder Adam Jensen Harris
MTC Mailbox # 169
GER-HAM 0623
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793

Don't forget to be awesome, and to rid the world of n00bocity!

The Future, and The Intruduction of N00bocity

2010-04-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

In the last few weeks, I have been getting a lot of technological contact from my dear sister in Utah. Whether it be cell phone, home phone, Facebook, or failed attempts at telepathy, she and her husband have been making sure that I am informed on the advent of big decisions in their lives, namely where they have been accepted for grad school and where they wish to attend based on the options they have.

Whenever I hear new about my sisters lives playing out this way, I am always thoughtful of my own life plans. They have changed from the time I was in 5th grade every year or so, but now that I am approaching the time in my life where plans actually play out, I believe I now have a solid idea for how the rest of my life is gonna play out. No big details, mind you. Just a basic outline.

So, when I was a kid, I always wanted to attend BYU in Provo Utah, however, the school itself had different ideas, so that didn't work out. Fortunately for me, though, my "fallback" college not only accepted me, but turned out to be an awesome place to go, not only because of the atmosphere, but because the major I have selected has a pretty good program there. My major, by the way, is Computer Science, and until I was a senior in high school, I never expected that. I always thought I would go into some kind of art or English degree, until I ended up taking a CS class to fill up a period and fell in love with the subject. I realized that I can be complete geeky and make money at the same time, which as it turns out is all I really wanted.

So, for a semester, I have been enrolled in the Computer Science program at BYU Idaho, and I plan on finishing my bachelor's degree there. Many people have wondered if I plan on transferring to BYU in Provo, and the answer to that is perhaps, but not likely.

But wait! There's something else that must be done before I finish that! In a matter of 17 days (today being Monday, April 4th, 2010), I will be taking a two-year break from school to be one of the Mormon guys in suits who knock on your door when you're busy, only in Germany. Speaking of which, just a quick note: I am uncertain if I will be able to directly update these blogs myself, but posts will come. The subject matter might be very much European and Mormon based, but they will be here. I will be sending posts through e-mail to my brother who will take care of that for me.

Once I get back, then what? It's back to school, however much will have changed. By the time I get back, I expect many of my friends to have been married by then, and all the people I thought were kids will be the same grade level I am at. I will continue educating myself and increasing my knowledge of computers, and finally obtain a bachelor's degree. Perhaps by the end, I may have found a wife (or vice versa), but that may or may not depend on how fast I go bald. Whatever happened, I am certain I will be married before both of my brothers.

What then? The truth is, as far as I have learned, a bachelor's degree in Computer Science can get you a pretty good job right off the bat, but the fact remains that I want to have the same job I aspired to obtain since I was in 5th grade. Ever since then, I have wanted to become a developer of successful video games, and a computer degree will help em do that. But wouldn't it sound so much cooler if I had a Master's degree? Of course it would. But what of master's program would help me to obtain such a career?

There is a school located in Redmond WA called the DigiPen Institute of Technology, that not only includes game development focused master's programs, but specializes in them. Not only that, but they also have very close ties with the large game development companies such as Bungie (developer of the Halo series), and of course, Nintendo (developer of your childhood). I'm aiming by then to have obtained the education and connections to get a good internship or straight up position with some game developers. The good part about this is that even if that doesn't work out, my computer background will allow me to work for any company in the world.

Now as far as raising a family goes, I totally can't wait to have kids, because when I do, they are going to be raised right. When I say that, I mean that they are not going to be lame kids, but instead, awesome ones. My goal in life is to eliminate the n00b0city in the world. What is n00bocity you may ask? It is the people and ideas that create n00bs. I have many ideas for how to do this, but creating more awesome people is one of them.

Think my plans are faulty? Think they are awesome? Have a question for me? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

The video above, by the way, is an idea I have for my senior project.

The Very Old Man With Enormous Rage

2010-03-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

"How DARE you call me while I'm in pajamas!"

This is a rant.

I was at work today, and for those of you who are unaware, my job is to make photocopies for a cardiovascular clinic. You see, a few of the doctors left the clinic and most of their patients decided to follow them to their new clinic. This would be a simple process, however, by law the clinic has to keep the original records for a period of time, so that's where I come in to make copies for the new clinic.

Anyways, a while back, the clinic required patient who wanted their records transferred to pay a 30 dollar fee because of the large amount of patients requesting them. This charge, by the way, is typically covered by the resigning doctors, however they refused to pay them, and since we couldn't cover them, it ended being the patients responsibility. After many angry phone calls, bad publicity, and more lawsuits threats than I can count, the CEO of our clinic decided to drop the charge, and for awhile, the phone calls died down in anger.

Not today.

Today I was called by a man who was upset about a ridiculous policy. You see, he was upset about the fact that his doctor wasn't getting the full records, but instead only the most recent records. That is what his doctor requested, so that's all we gave him. This man, however, seemed to be under the impression that he knew more than his doctor did about how to treat him, and demanded that we give him the original records.

After explaining to him that we were bound by law to keep them, he continued to tell me how what we were doing was unethical, and how he would never come back to out practice ever again, which if you ask me sounded like more of a blessing then a threat. He continued to go on and on about how he was going to sue us for something we were doing because the law required us, and to put us in the newspaper, saying how much of jerks we were. Somewhere in there, he stated that he was going to be, pardon my language, a "pain in the ass", and he also stated that he didn't want to be.

He also stated that he understood that the records don't belong to the doctor, but to the clinic. This is a true fact, meaning that we can't be sued. Two second later, he stated that the records "belong to the patient". Yeah, nice one, dude. He also stated that the CEO was a "SOB", which I assumed didn't stand for "Saint of Ballerophon". This made me really kind of upset, because not only had I been having a lousy work day anyways, the CEO happens to be my father, and I wasn't going to have some angry stranger knocking on my dad because he thought he knew more about the inner working of the clinic then we do.

Eventually, I just transferred him to somebody who could deal with him, but It got me thinking a bit about the nature of anger. Anger is kind of like drug, and when taken enough can put into into kind of an emotional high, or a fury of sorts. When this happens, people abandon reason, maturity, and the ability to admit that they were wrong, thus fueling more anger and creating a horrible cycle.

Lesson to be learned? Control you're anger, and always listen to reason.

Shoot me an e-mail, please:

celebino251@hotmail.com

By the way, I was going to post an entry about my life plans, but this came up. I will make sure to do that by the end of this week.

Films of Awesome

2010-03-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

E-mail. Do it:

celebino251@hotmail.com

This video has as many minutes as I have movies on this list.

Roadtripping

2010-03-03T19:43:00.000-08:00

Good thing we had a GPS.

Drew Wagner, this one is for you, bro.

For those of you who are unaware, I am 19 years old now. What this means for many people is that they start their freshman year of college, the time when people realize they have a new found sense of freedom, which usually leads to rebellion of some sorts. Unless your at any one of three BYU's, this may consist of substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, or simply not studying. Being in the category of "BYU-goer", the only option I have (or want for that matter), is the latter of these examples. However, since I am off track and living at home, even that is unavailable to me. So, what can I do to feel young and rebellious?

The answer, ironically, lies in going back to school. Not attending school, mind you, just going back to the school. And this is exactly what I did. The conditions were perfect. I had no work, meaning no schedules to conflict each other. It wasn't finals week, meaning no schedules to conflict each other. No games of Dungeons and Dragons had been planned, meaning no schedules to conflict each other. In addition, my parents had decided to take off on a cruise ship in the ocean for the week, meaning that the car was going to be left unused for a whole week and a half.

Now, this would be fine if my parents were cool with me taking the brand new Santa Fe to Idaho and back, but as it turns out, a lot of miles on a car is about as attractive as a woman talking about Justin Beiber*. So instead, I was given the opportunity to take the ten-year-old Jetta, which required me to put shards of glass in a bowl and eat them. Oh wait, I meant learn stick shift. Same thing, basically.

*Who is this guy? No seriously, I have no idea who he is.

Now, this may be an exaggeration, but to be honest, I absolutely loathe stick shift. I mean sure, it's more gas efficient, and hey, it's a more manly way to drive then an automatic. But here's the reality of stick shift cars. Unless your driving on the freeway, every 20 minutes is an opportunity to make you look like a complete idiot, a complete jerk, or just completely thrash your engine.

You see, if you don't take off correctly after stopping in an intersection, you do something called "killing your engine". That's right, you put your engine to death. The car usually lurches a few times, makes an uncomfortable griding sound, and then stops. The person in the car behind you does a face palm maneuver, and his kids are saying "Dad, why aren't we moving? Is it the idiot in front of us?". You give it a few more tires, and eventually you get the car going. You missed the light three times because you couldn't get the car to move, and once you finally manage leave the intersection, the exact same thing happens at the next one you stop at.

Anyways, I got some friends to come with me, both of them far more skilled at stick shift than I was and willing to chip in for gas money, as well as old roommates who let me crash on their futon, and enough Dining Dollars to keep me fed for the five days I was there (not to mention legendary mooching skills). We went to Idaho, had a jolly good time, and came back to resume our regular lives of monotony.

Want to be a cool dude? Want to be a cool lady? Send me an e-mail at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

It's interesting how my rebellious road trip lead me to Idaho.

The Twin's New Quest

2010-02-20T22:47:00.001-08:00

Straight from Hawaii. Or Orgeon.

As you may recall me mentioning briefly here and there, I have a twin. Before you start asking "What's it like to be a twin?" I would first like you to consider the following question. What's it like to not have a twin?

Now this twin, who is named Kyle, has been my twin my entire life, and until we went to seperate colleges, we were around each other a lot, having lived in the same general area. While this may seem like an obvious truth, the fact is that it is an obvious truth. However, these cirmunstances have recently changed as he headed off to be a missionary for the church that we are part of in Pheonix Arizona (spanish speaking).

He left on Monday, earlier this week. While he wouldnt report to the MTC (missionary Training Center) untill Wednesday, we hanted to take a few days and see some dear friends and family in Utah. His flight was scheduled to leave at around 9:35 am from the Portland airport to Salt Lake City, and things were going according to plan. We checked in his luggage, walked him to the security checking, and said out last goodbyes to the dude we wouldn't see for a good two years.

Now, if you have been to an airport in the last ten years, you know that security has taken top priority* for air travel companies. The line was long, and since Kyle was in a full suit and tie (and repeatedly having people attempt to cut him in line), it took a bit longer than average to get through the metal scanner, and the x-ray machine that I always liked looking at when I was a kid and was able to see the screen. As soon as he got all of his belongings and was about to leave our view, my dad signals to him that he has 8 minutes to catch the plane. And there he went.

*It used to be providing honey roasted peanuts, but then, well, you know.

My parents decided to watch the giant screen in the lobby showing the flight schedules, and we quickly found his flight, watching it untill it had changed from BOARDING to DEPARTED. My mom, like many mothers, was worried that Kyle had missed his flight. I said to her, to try and calm her down a bit "Don't worry mom, he made it. Kyle isn't stupid". I then proceded to tell her that I was hungry and wanted to go home to eat something and maybe take a nap.

About 15 minutes later while on the freeway, my dad gets a phone call. The first words I hear him say are "You missed you flight?". At this moment, all I can think is "Dude, I vouched for you. Now I got nothing." We picked him up at the airport, and since his next flight isn't untill later that afternoon, we just decided to go home. This part of the story ends that he made his flight, though I didn't go back to the airport to see him off. I used up my dramatic farewell for the day. He made it to Utah safely and soundly.

Except for a brief chat on the phone, I didn't hear much about his stay in Utah. e entered the MTC on Wednesday, and that was about it. However, as it turns out, he had lost something opf vital importance while walking about the BYU campus with my sister. Was it his comb? Was it his mind? It was his wallet.

Now, this would have suprised me, but this is the same guy who had just had his driver's lisence replaced for losing his first copy. This is also the same guy who had lost the keys to our car in a feild one night while on a trip away from home, resulting in a trip to my aunt's house for the night and a visit from a locksmith the morning after. We would have lost the cell phone we shared too, had I not taken it off of silent, allowing us to hear where it was. This is also the guy who, days before he leaves for the MTC, left his phone outside, in the rain. Yeah, that's the kind of guy that Kyle is.

When all is said and done, though, it's what makes me love him. I'm gonna miss that homie slice. Good luck, bro.

Whoa! An e-mail address! Check it out:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Kyle once said while in a yert, "Mom say's you'll have to put your nose in the corner. But do not worry, the room is perfectly round".

Birthday on Facebook

2010-02-11T23:32:00.000-08:00

My brother and I both turned 19 today, and we spent three hours this morning playing New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Happy Birthday indeed.

Today, my dear readers, is the day I mark as the 19th year I have managed to go without dying. That's right, not even once. What this means on Facebook is that I get a lot of attention, because Facebook is kind enough to let everyone know that it is my Birthday, meaning that everyone knows, and I'm not a jerk about it.

Because I am a number's geek, and a geek in many other ways, I have composed a list of statistics related to the birthday messages I have received.

Number of Facebook posts: 63

First post: Erica Marley

Last Post: Danica Andresen

Male Posts: 14

Female posts: 49

Posts from Relatives: 6

Posts from Friends: 58

Times the word "Happy" was used: 84

Times the word "Birthday" was used: 66

Times the word "Birhtday" was used: 1

Times the word "Birfday" was used: 2

Times the phrase "Day of Birth" was used: 2

Number of exclamation points: 161

Number of emoticons: 19

Times my name was used: 34

Times "Chum" was used: 1

Number of Languages used: 3 (English, German, and Japanese)

Times "19" was used: 5

Times "20" was used: 1

Number of posts with ALL CAPS: 4

Compliments on my good looks: 3

Times phrases such as "Hope it's a great day!" were used: 12

Messages without the phrase "Happy Birthday" were used: 6

Total text messages: 9

Phone calls: 1

Letters: 1 (Thanks mom).

I would like to thank all of you for the wonderful birthday wishes, and thank you for supporting my desire to be alive for so long, and may that support continue. It's been a pretty super day.

Want to shoot me a birthday wish? Upset I've been alive for so long? let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Happy birthday in German is "Zum Geburstag".

The Source of All Truth and Light

2010-02-07T23:09:00.000-08:00

The cat probably ate the other pieces.

It's Sunday night, and you, a student of Sprague High School, have just breezed through your Mythology homework, attempted your Statistics homework, and didn't do your German homework*. Sweet! You can just go to sleep, or spend the rest of the evening on Facebook, right? Right! WAIT! WRONG! You just remembered! You still have the connections puzzle and corresponding sentences for Mr. Nickel's AP Art History class! SHOOT! It's already 12:30 am, your tired, but you can't neglect this assignment. You already have a borderline B in the class, despite your fascination for the subject. Time to get the small, green slip of terms from your binder. This is going to be a long night.

*Shame on you.

You scan through the page. What the heck!? You don't remember half of these terms! You even did most of the reading! Despair is looming. You have only one option. You're going to have to pull out the 50 pound Art History book, and look up the terms in the index, only to realize that this only helps with one of these terms, and you have no idea how it connects with any of them. At this point, exhaustion and frustration (as well as senioritis) are telling you to just forget do what you can off the top of your head, and then just copy off the dude who sits next to you in the class. Hopefully, they did it correctly.

What is this? 1992? Your forgetting about the free tool that is practically the bane of Mr. Nickel himself. You, as a reader now and not as a frustrated AP Art History student, are probably aware that I am referring to the most popular online encyclopedia, good ol' Wikipedia. Oh yeah! I have a computer, and am connected to the information highway! Time to take advantage of what rich nerds have given us!

The story ends that the student is refreshed on most of the topics on the sheet and is able to connect them pretty well. He gets help with a sentence or two, but for the most part, has it down, and is now better aware of the reading he had done (or didn't do). In addition, he saved a good half hour of page flipping and spot marking, and exchanged it with some keystrokes, and some well placed clicks with the mouse.

Now I know what many of you are saying, especially if you are Mr. Nickel reading this blog right now. "But Wikipedia isn't a credible source!". My dear reader, I am here to explain to you how this statement is correct, how it's incorrect, and how Wikipedia can be used to enhance your academia without shattering your credibility as a student.

Now, those who argue that Wikipedia isn't a valid source usually have the argument that any article can be edited by anybody. This, fortunately, is very true. Why fortunate? Well think about it. We have this resource called this Internet, where we can connect every computer in the world and share all of their information. The problem is, however, that the Internet is a messy place and information has a tenancy to get twisted. If you don't believe me, look at discussion forums for either the Twilight series, of for any particular video game console.

Wikipedia, then, serves as an encyclopedia where anybody who has a piece of information on any particular subject can share their knowledge with the world. This makes all of that information very organized and easy to access and navigate. But there is still the issue of the average Joe who decides to post on the Picasso page that he was taught how to paint by Bruce Lee.

What Wikipedia has is something that many of us strife to be, and one day have. Employees. These people get paid money. That's right. MONEY. Why do they get money? They get money because they are in charge of making sure that idiots don't ruin our late nights with AP Art History homework. You see, these employees spend their time looking at these articles and realize "wait a second, Bruce Lee and Picasso didn't even live at the same time! Time to make this accurate! Then I'll get money!". What makes this is easier is that fact that they are aware of any time that a page is edited, so if you mess with anything on the site, they will be there within minutes to make sure the information is accurate.

So there you have it, Wikipedia can have changed information by practically anyone, but that's what makes it great. This allows us to to all share a little bit of our knowledge with the world. It has employees who get money to correct thing that misguided, misinformed, immature, and idiotic people post, to make sure that the information is valid and useful (not to mention opinion neutral). Now, if you want the Mr. Nickel version of Wikipedia where anything can be edited by anyone without consequence, I recommend you take a few minutes to contrast Wikipedia, and it's evil yet humorous twin, Uncyclopedia. The difference will be made very clear.

However, this is not to say that Wikipedia is a good way to get information for a research paper. The example used above was to show how the first few sentences on any Wikipedia page can be used to give you a basic understanding of something, as well as refresh your memory. That is the purpose of the site. So where are you supposed to get useful and usable information? Again, Wikipedia. Not the actual article itself, but down at the bottom are these magical little things called citations. These will take you to where much of the information can be validated and, potentially, used in a paper or research project of some kind.

So there you have it. Wikipedia is awesome. There is a reason my Into to Software Development called it "the source of all truth and light".

If you agree, send me an e-mail. If not, send me an e-mail. Either way, e-mail me at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Believe it or not, the site even has games.

Response to Janet Murray

2010-01-28T13:48:00.001-08:00

It says:

"Hi,

I know this email is out of the blue, but I just posted an article on my blog entitled "50 Sushi Tips for Beginners" at [this website]. Anyway I figured I'd bring it to your attention in case you thought it was interesting enough to drop a quick mention on your site about it as I'm trying to increase readership of my blog.

Either way, sorry for the unsolicited email and hope you have a good week.

Thanks,

Janet Murray".

Dear Janet,

First off, I would like to say thank you for the email. It is certainly refreshing to receive an email from a stranger that doesn't claim that I have won thousands of units of foreign currency, or that my email account is going to be shut down if I don't provide my personal information.

After careful consideration, I have decided to mention your blog on my my blog as you can see, and I wish you the best of efforts in increasing your viewership. You may have noticed, however, that although Eel Sushi is the name of this blog, rarely do I ever post anything about sushi itself, much like Rotten Tomatoes isn't actually about rotting fruit*, but instead about the film industry.

*Or are they vegetables? Hmm?

All I ask is that, when it's convenient, you tell your friends and colleagues about Eel Sushi, both the substance and the blog. You see, I'm also trying to increase the viewership here on Eel Sushi.

Again, thank you for the email. For those of you who are interested in trying out the delicious and exotic Japanese dish in question, to check out Janet Murray's post.

I hope you also have a good week, Janet Murray.

Sincerely,

Nintendood.

Want me to talk about your website or blog? Send me a link at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Enjoy your week everyone, and remember to eat lots of sushi.

iPod Generated Blog: Part III

2010-01-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

Replace "teenage girl" with "handsome young man" and you basically get my life story.

The Pharaoh Sails to Orion every now and again for vacation. I'm not sure if you've ever been a Pharaoh before, but it can be very tiring. Think of how exhausted you would be after making sure that your pyramid gets built before you die. The afterlife doesn't wait, you know. And if you happen to be a Pharaoh in a certain card-Game based universe, it's not tea party when everyone wants to send you to a dark realm by defeating you in a children's card game.

Water is delicious. This is something I discovered when I was but a wee lad. When I was younger, I would drink water all the time. It was my favorite beverage. I would often just drink some because I wanted to, so I never really knew what being thirsty meant, though I knew what a brain freeze was, for I would always have ice cubes in the glass. However, they weren't really cubes. They were more like half-cylindrical pieces of ice. But they got the job done, so I never complained.

The Chariot isn't back yet. What I mean by this is that the car that I usually drive isn't home, so I can't partake of the bowling event I was looking forward to tonight. The guy who has it happens to be my twin, and he's in Portland. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the geography in the Willamette Valley, Portland is about an hour away from Salem. He said he'd be home about an hour ago. I have frustration.

Perfect marching band shows have never been achieved. It's true. Nobody has ever earned a perfect score in the marching band show. This is for a number of reasons. It is rare that you will ever get a marching band full of people who actually care about doing well in the show. Also, marching band judges, and music judges in general, tend to be very picky and snooty about their judging. They can mark you down for pretty much anything, and sometimes they can be known to make excuses to mark somebody down points, such as not playing a song that they liked. The closest anybody has ever gotten was a 99.5. That show made a judge cry.

Dark Chest of Wonders was a term I gave to the box that the Pit would put our mallets in. This was when I was the section leader of that particular Front Ensemble. But enough about marching band.

The Fire Burns Forever unless you put it out, right? Not necessarily. As it turns out, fire's don't just stick around until proper moisture is applied. Eventually, the fire will have to die out. You see, fire needs three things to survive, which are ignition, oxygen, and fuel (such as wood or a copy of Twilight). Take any of these away, and the fire will go out. Considering that fuel isn't an unlimited resource, the fire has to go out eventually. Congratulations, I just taught you some science stuff.

Bohemian Rhapsody should never be played at a dance for youngins. Don't get me wrong, the song is incredible and will buy you plenty of time when procrastinating via "just one more song". However, at a dance, this one is a no-no. But it's all slow and stuff right? WRONG. There is an awesome section of rocking out and being silly, full of poor boys, Beelzebub, and the word "No". A good rock out section for sure, but it's about as romantic as Spongebob.

Intergalactic space travel was supposed to happen by now right? Science fiction back in the 80's predicted that we would have robot maids, holographic food, and spaceships by now. While we do have spaceships, robots, and fake food, only one of these is available to the general public. I remember an episode of Family Matters, where the large man fell asleep, and woke up 25 years into the future, 2009. They had hover cars. We, as future dwellers, have been seriously ripped off.

The Star of the show Firefly has been completely transformed for me. For any of you that have seen Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, he's the guy who plays Captain Hammer (corporate tool). In this mini-series, he plays an egotistical jerk who only cares about how awesome he is. In Firefly, the show that attempted to not be a mini-series, he plays an egotistical jerk who cares about his strangely diverse crew. It's strange when you see that happen to actors. For example, when I saw Taken, I was confused at first because Liam Neeson wasn't a bad guy.

Blue is a nice color. It can be serene and subtle, yet bold at the same time. Back in the day, blue was considered a royal color because blue dye was so hard to come by. Nowadays, we fail to appreciate the color blue sometimes, possibly because nearly everybody in the United States has blue pants of some kind.

The Distance between point A and point B can be found quite simply. All you need to do is form a triangle with the two points, and label the vertical and horizontal sides A and B, and the diagonal side (the hypotenuse) C. Then, simply use the Pythagorean theorem (A^2 + B^2 = C^2), and there you go. I hope this helps with any math homework you may be procrastinating right now.

Anything you want me to blog about? I promise, it'll help me update more often. E-mail me at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Papercut's are not fun. Not at all.

First Impressions

2010-01-14T17:13:00.000-08:00

I think I can.

Over the last few months, I had the chance to see some movies I thought were awesome, movies I thought were pretty good, and movies I know were crappy. By now, I've gone to the movies enough to almost recite word for word the "It takes many calls to make a movie, and only one to ruin it" ad they show at the end of the previews.

One thing I love about going to the movies, other then trying to pull a Mike Nelson whenever I can, are the posters they show for movies that are coming up. Many times, that's how I find out that a certain movie is even going to come out at all. The picture you see above is a particular poster that I have seen every time I went to the moves these last few months. When I glance at it, I basically just see the giant words. This is my impression of the movie based on the words*.

*This almost ignores the fact that the winged man is even there, or the fact that he is dressed in hockey attire, which I didn't even notice until I got the picture from the glorious Internet.

YOU: This word appears to have multiple purposes. The first, and most obvious, is that it addresses the viewer of the poster. It says, "yo, dawg, there's a poster here." Clearly this one word shows that the marketers behind this poster were geniuses at turning the average bystander into a prospective customer. Another task it accomplishes Is it begins the sentence, for clearly, a sentence must have a beginning. Again, these marketers must be geniuses. I hope they pay them well.

CAN'T: This word here is the successor to the already brilliantly placed word YOU, and it does nothing but make the sentence better. Not only does it bring us closer to understanding exactly what we are incapable of, it lets us know that we, the humble viewer, are certainly unable to do something. This guy certainly can. Not only does he play a sport on skates, something I can only dream of considering I don't play sports and can't ice skate my way out of a house of cards, but he has wings. The dude can fly. Can you fly? I didn't think so. This movie may be so hardcore that those of weak constitutions should stay home and watch Fern Gully instead.

HANDLE: The word HANDLE here comes directly after CAN'T. This leads up the anticipation for the viewer. The poster has shed a little bit of light on the subject of what we can't, but at this point it has brilliantly kept from us what exactly it is we can't handle. We already know that this movie is going to be hardcore, but now we can expect it be suspenseful as well! What can;t we handle!? Who are these marketers!? Give them a raise!

THE: This word comes right after the word HANDLE, which was already placed in a way that would make us jump and shake with utter excitement and wonder at the sheer awesomeness this movie is going to be. This implies that whatever it is that we apparently can't handle, there is only one, and only one is enough to make us shiver. How do you feel viewer? What's that? You thought this hockey playing Red Bull enthusiast was all fun and games? No way man. Once you enter the theater on January 22nd, 2010, there is NO turning back. This movie is gonna rock!

TOOTH: . . . this movie is going to be stupid. Whoever the marketers were, they should be fired. Using a pun? Come on guys.

If you found this entertaining, or if you found this to be a bore, e-mail me at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

For the record, this wasn't REALLY my thought process.

Downgrading

2010-01-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

Hold it right there. Orders from the President.

Long time readers of Eel Sushi should know a few things by now. I despise the Twilight franchise. I love Avatar: The Last Airbender. I play lot's of video games. I feel like these things have been well established, so I won't talk about them today. Something I may have mentioned earlier is how much I love the series LOST. You know, the one that most of you probably watched for about a season and then got bored*. For those of you who are out of the loop, I am happy to inform you that the last season on LOST is nigh. That right folks, this show is about to end.

*For those of you who like spoilers and are not up to snuff with whats been going on on that crazy island, here's the basic gist. Lots of people crashed on an island. The island is mysterious. There are polar bears, a giant smoke monster, a crazy french chick, and illegal drugs disguised as the Virgin Mary. There's also a bunch of abandoned scientific research stations. You see this island has special properties. Anyways, one thing leads to another and six people manage to leave the island, and everyone else starts time traveling. They also managed to set off an H-bomb on the island. Not exactly sure how that turned out. That's why I'm excited for this next season. Now my question is, why did you leave this show!?

Now being an avid LOST fan, I was becoming increasingly excited with the premier of Season 6. Back when Season 5 was being shown, we would have "LOST Night" at our house, where everyone, friends and family alike, would gather around and watch the new episode on a giant projector screen. Nobody would talk. Everyone would be so focused on gathering every detail they saw, for the real fun happened after the episode. You see, LOST is a very deep and complicated show, and there are many mysteries surrounding it's mythology. The fun part is getting together with other LOST junkies and discussing theories and other explanations we think are legit. While the episode we watch typically takes an hour, the discussion can go as long as two hours. And more than once, the theories we all develop get shattered by the episode we watch the following week.

Now, as I mentioned in the last post, I will be leaving for Germany in April, meaning that I'm most likely going to miss the last few episodes of what I consider the greatest show to ever surface on national television, tied with Avatar. I came to accept that. However, a certain somebody has to drop a bomb on me. Strike that, more like a stink bomb. It's not really landing a bomb on me unless it becomes equivalent to how upset I was that Super Smash Bros. Brawl got delayed twice.

Now, I've mentioned before that I'm not a fan President Obama. What does this have to do with anything, you may ask? Well, our dear president, after his nice vacation to Hawaii, decides to schedule a press conference. After all, it would be hard to just kind of ignore the bombing attempt, even if you ARE surrounded by volcanoes, socially acceptable scantily clad women/men, and pineapples.

However, our commander in chief has dropped a level for me. Several actually. Instead of me simply "not being a fan", I now full on dislike the man. Anybody who postpones the premier of the final season of LOST is disliked by me, and President Obama is now one of these people. Because of him, not only do I have to wait another week, but I now have to wait another two years for that other episode that was postponed. The only thing that would make this more horrible would be if he burned a bus of orphans who were on the way home with their new puppies.

This is Nintendood, officially disliking President Barack Obama.

Got anything you want me to talk about? Anything you want me to shut up about? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

4 8 15 16 23 42

Avatars

2009-12-27T23:55:00.000-08:00

Not yet. For now you get Giant Alien Smurfs.

When at first I heard that one of my favorite TV shows was going to be turned into a live action movie, I was very much excited despite the fact that M. Night Shyamalan would be behind the whole ordeal. After all, I am a fan of watching cheesy Kung Fu movie, and the fact that they are making one based on the last thing Nickelodeon had going good for them is very exciting. By the way, if you haven't guessed by now, I'm referring to Avatar: The Last Airbender. If you did guess but thought I was referring to iCarly, you my friend are sadly, sadly mistaken.

I was disappointed to learn that Mr. ShamWow was unable to actually call the movie Avatar. I wasn't alone. As it turns out, not only were many fans upset by this fact, but many people who weren't huge fans of the confused it for the movie that prevented it from being called just that, instead being titled The Last Airbender. The film that was released a few weeks ago was able to claim rights on the name Avatar before Mr. Shyamaloo was able to. While the name makes sense, it's still kind of lame.

I'm not going to talk about this though. Instead, I'm here to tell you exactly why you should go see the movie that not only took that name Avatar, but also the exact font in the title that was used in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Despite this fact, this movie is pretty much awesome.

The premise of the story is that distantly in the future, Earth has been reduced to a desert planet and we Earthians have found a new planet called Pandora (a name that could have EASILY been incorporated into the title). This planet is not only teeming with exotic alien life but is also rich with valuable minerals, which makes the fact that the whole thing is covered in toxic gas seem like staying up till midnight to get the first Wii. That being said, it wasn't a huge deal. We want minerals, and we want video games.

Unfortunately for us, the tall blue locals don't want to move their colony so that we can exploit the crap outta the minerals underneath their sacred tree. This is where the main character, a marine named Jake Sully, comes in. This guy is lame. Not lame in the sense that he likes Tokio Hotel, but lame in the sense that he has paralysis in his legs. He is the only person who can take over his brother's "Avatar", which in this case is a body that is much like that of the blue locals that acts as a vessel so that we humans can walk amongst these people. This guy Jake is appointed to learn what he can about these people so that we can start drilling till the cows come home. One thing leads to another and we have explosions, dragons, and mech warriors.

As far as the story goes, its pretty simple and easy to keep track of. From what I saw, there are little holes within the canon, and everything made enough sense. The action was pretty solid stuff. Like I mentioned, there were explosions, mech warriors, and dragons all fighting each other, making this the single most epic Greenpeace movie in the history of mankind. I can only wish that my life was that hardcore.

The place where the movie triumphs is in the animation. While shows and movies similar to Star Trek would resort to make up and masks to make their alien species look real, every creature in Avatar was done using computer animation. The difference between this animation and other animation humans is that these creatures looked incredibly real. The way that the faces and forms of the aliens move was very similar to what you would expect to see in a human, minus the fact that these aliens have tails. Whoever was in charge of the motion capture for this movie is probably filthy rich, and I think they deserve this wealth.

Nintendood gives the movie 8.9 out of 10 for superb animation, incredible action, and a decent storyline. It would have had more if it wasn't for the name and for the fact that the whole thing was a Greenpeace movie.

Now many of you may be wondering what I meant in my last post where I mentioned that things were going to change. In order to explain this, I must explain the concept of an Avatar. If you have heard the term, it typically refers to a representative or emissary of some kind. For example, on the Xbox 360, the Mii wannabes are called Avatars, because they are representatives of the player. That is why this movie was called Avatar, because these alien body vessel thingies were Avatars of the humans. The show Avatar: The Last Airbender is called as such because in that universe, the Avatar is the spiritual manifestation of the planet.

I myself was called to be an Avatar of sorts. If you are familiar with the LDS church, you probably know that they take two years out of their lives to serve Missions, and my time to do just that will be here as of April 21st, 2010. Once that date comes around, I will be busy being a missionary in Hamburg, Germany. That being said, blog posts are going to happen differently. I have arranged for my brother to update posts that I will send home via snail mail letters. It will continue like this for two years until I return.

Who's that Pokemon!? Its:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Good thing I took four years of German in high school.

Happy Stuff

2009-12-21T15:06:00.001-08:00

Now that I've made the trip from super cold dry place in Idaho to semi-cold moist place in Oregon, everyone around here has been prepping for the major Christian holiday, Christmas. Being in and from a family of devout Mormons, Christmas has always been a huge deal for us. On top of that, a good friend of mine is going to be leaving for Brazil in about 8 days, so I'm gonna be hanging out with him as much as I can before he leaves. That being said, I'm pretty darn busy. However, I want to wish all of you readers/spam artists a happy holiday season. Choose amongst any of these holidays:

Merry Christmas!

Happy Christmas (for our readers from Hogwarts).

Happy Hannukah!

Happy Kwanzaa!

Happy Solstice!

Happy Birthday (you know, just in case).

Wanna send me a Christmas message? Wanna send me spam? E-mail me at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

God Bless Us, Every one! (for you fans of Charles Dickens).

Oh, and just an FYI, next blog post is going to change the way you look at Eel Sushi...or something. Be excited, and scared.

The iPod Generated Blog: Part II

2009-12-12T14:22:00.000-08:00

See Below for Description.

As it turns out, people actually liked my iPod generated Blog. So, I'm doing another one.

Soarin' Over Space would be pretty epic. I always envied those kids on cartoons who managed to acquire a spaceship of some kind and went to space for fun. If only that was the actually case. Nowadays, you need to have month, if not years, of training before one is able to breach the atmosphere. Why can't the world be more like Star Trek, or Star Wars? Or Star Trek AND Star Wars? Being in space is one of the few things I want to do before I die, but doubt I will accomplish. Oh well.

Dead Gardens suck. I mean, you try and try to get those darn plants to grow, and they die. What can you do to fix this problem? The first step of course is to identify what exactly the problem is. If your trying to grow something using Play-Doh instead of dirt, you're plants are going to die. If you're trying to grow emo plants and you keep them out of the sunlight, you're plants are going to die. If you're King Midas, everything you touch is going to die (pretty much). Other than that, I can't really help you, unfortunately. I'm a computer scientist, not a gardener!

Bicycle Race's are the story of how I broke my left arm as a child. When I was in 3rd grade, the explosion of Pokemon Cards took place, and the kids in our neighborhood were eager to do whatever we could to get all 151 creatures into our binders. We made a wager where whoever one a bicycle race around our block would get a certain card. I decided to try it out, and I ended up running into another kid and broke my arm, unfortunately. There you have it, folks. I broke my arm over Pokemon Cards.

So I Thought that all of the sidewalks at BYU-Idaho were heated. Around most of the buildings on campus, while the snow piles up higher and higher like it is right now, the sidewalks tend to be pretty clean. Moist, but clean. They have this nifty system that heats the sidewalks during the winter, making it much easier to get around with slipping, sliding, and embarrassing injury. Unless of course, you want to go the library, only to find out that the Writing Center isn't open on Saturdays.

Never, Ever call me Chad.

Nevermore call me Chad.

The Moon is pretty cool. I always wondered though, is it possible to get a moon burn? I mean, if one day, aliens decided to turn up the sun, wouldn't the moon shine brighter then it was before? In that case, is it possible that too much exposure could cause a moon burn? I sure hope not. I like taking strolls at night. Except for when it's below zero. In that case Ill typically only go outside because I need to go somewhere else.

Smash Bros. Great Medley...yup.

When All is Said and Done, the geeks are the guys who get paid the most. If you look at the highest paying degrees nowadays, you'll find that math and science based degrees yeild from 60-80 grand a year, straight out of college. Don't get me wrong, sports can be fun, but they can only get you so far. Even pro athletes work for geeks. For example, did you know that Nintendo owns the Seattle Mariners?

Ch-Check it Out. I'm an internet celebrity. I have a spiffy blog, Facebook statuses that people tend to 'like', and I'm a Youtube Celebrity, as seen above. The story behind that goes as follows. When I was in marching band my Junior year of high school, we performed a piece from West Side Story called Mambo. There was a section that was called "Muy Caliente", which apparently means "go nuts" in Spanish. So that exactly what I did. People started to notice me, and I eventually was filmed by a school I don't even attend. Thus, Rack Boy was born.

Want to become super-special-awesome friends? What to become super-special-awesome enemies? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

I wish the writing center was open on Saturdays.

BYU-I Do

2009-12-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

Yeah, you only wish your mascot was this cool.

Before I begin, I would like to point out some things about Eel Sushi that may or not creep you out. Those of you are are frequent readers and are not completely blind or ADD will have noticed that three things are different. First, the picture up top has changed. I found that picture via Stumble Upon, and thought it was kinda cool, and would attract more potential readers*, and hopefully monetary benefactors. Second, right below the new image, is a flashy little animation that does some cool stuff behind the scenes here, but for you viewers will offer links to past entries. The third is on the right hand side of the blog. This lets you know how diverse (or not) the fan base is here on Eel Sushi. Before you start commenting on how amazing clever I am (which you are more than welcome to), I must give credit to my good friend who is behind a very well written blog, Plain Vanilla.

*I want to thank the nice lady who commented on my recent Twilight post. It's the first account of someone reading this blog who I have no idea who they are. If I do know you, forgive me. My memory is about as useful as a computer developed by Ben and Jerry's.

Now, I've been here at BYU-Idaho for almost a whole three months. While three months may or may not seem much like a long time, I certainly feel at home here. In my opinion, BYU-Idaho is the best university in the world, and more people should come here*. Now, like most things, my opinions are not shared by everybody, and that's completely fine, if not integral to keeping my life interesting.

* That way we might become large enough to have a football team so we are not constantly ridiculed by other college-goers.

Some times will arise when I will ask people (mostly other Mormons) why they don't attend any one of the BYU's. Many times' it's due to programs that other universities offer, or a desire to go to a community college so they will have a more opportunity to work. These are all great reasons. I encourage everyone everywhere to chase their dreams, unless they involve the death of puppies, the death of Liam Neeson, or the life of Vammeyers.

However, I have heard some people say something that worries me a bit. Many people, especially women, choose not to go a BYU school because they "don't want to get married". This is perfectly understandable, it worries me that many women have an opinion that there is a huge pressure to get married quicker than they are able to handle.

Now while I have no experience with matrimony*, from what I've heard, it's actually not that bad of an experience. That is assuming, or course, that the marriage in question was intended and performed while sober and/or not at gunpoint. Obviously however, it's not always the best time to get married. For example, now is not a good time for a number of my family members to get married. My brother, now a college student like me, has a two-year expedition in the near future, and a marriage isn't exactly ideal, and best left to the future. My parents have six children, so now would be a bad time for them to get married, and was best left to August 21, 1982. My younger brother turns 13 this year, so getting married now would just be weird. Unless of course you were Elijah Wood and a comet the size of New York was about to hit the Atlantic Ocean.

*Except for in preschool. I got married four times to my good friend Abbie Stevens. Good times...

However, this is something that most people here in Rexburg understand. And the really cool part is that even if they don't, you don't HAVE to marry them if they ask.

That being said, however, I am sorry to hear that the image of these wonderful schools has been tainted by this feeling of people getting married left and right. Just remember that while this is the case, these are the choices made by these young couples. Until then, I tend to find it fun to go on dates. In fact, I went on two this weekend. Both were much fun, and as far as I'm concerned, non-commitment related.

To my dear sister, who will be married on the 30th, congratulations!

Wanna tell me something super awesome and amazing? Wanna tell me something super lame and uninteresting?

celebino251@hotmail.com

I'm gonna miss this place (foreshadowing...?).

The Visit to the House

2009-11-30T08:37:00.001-08:00

Google images is weird.

Before I begin, I would like to add a few things to my recent post about Twilight. I was told that I was "harsh" for comparing the franchise to pornography*, and this is my response. AWESOME! I love being controversial!

*By the way, it's going to be really hard to convince me otherwise, considering every girl I've talked to regarding the latest movie, New Moon**, hasn't been able to tell me much other then the fact that the shirtless Native American is "mouth dropping hawt". That usually the kind of talk you hear from guys coming out of a strip club.

**I saw the movie a few nights ago. It sucked. Rather than writing a review, however, I would like to instead point to the review published in the Statesman Journal. It says what I need to.

On to today's blog.

As many of you may have noticed, I sent a Happy Thanksgiving message to all of my dear readers. While this was happening, my house was busy preparing for an onslaught of hungry relatives, and hungry dwellers of the house itself. The whole place smelled awesome, and the urge to keep myself from snacking overpowered my plans to gorge myself at dinner like an average American.

I was able to have th opportunity to sit in a car for about twelve hours to make the long, dismal trek from Idaho to Salem, OR. People who have made the journey will know why I say dismal, and that's because it's very brown. However, this is what it took to return to the land of moisture, hippies, and in my case, free food.

It was especially fun to come back to Salem because the only person there who knew I was coming was my Dad, and that's exactly how I planned it. I had let my siblings and dear Mother believe I was spending Thanksgiving with my sister, because I thought it would be funny to just show up one morning eating their food. It ended up me surprising them in the curtains section of JC Penny, where my dad made sure to take too long and bore them out of their minds, just enough to when they saw me, they thought I was a ghost, and wanted to suck me into a vacuum so they could turn me into a painting*. This was followed by my dear Mother hugging me to death, and constantly saying "I can't believe it!"

*If you get the reference, congratulations. You're a geek too!

Whenever I have a place to visit for a few days that I've lived in before (which is basically just Salem and Sacramento), I always feel a rush to cram time into visiting everyone I can, which is good because it gives me something to do, but is also bad because when I head back, I always feel like I didn't do enough. This is exactly how my week was spent. I had to try and make time for everyone, which ended up working out pretty well. I managed to make it to Corvallis, OR, so visit a dear friend of mine and still see most of the people I missed back in Salem, even though it required I ride a Greyhound bus to do it.

About halfway through the week, something happened that I wasn't expecting. I found myself, dare I say it, missing Idaho. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, and think that everyone should come here. I always thought, however, that once I was home that I would want to stay at home. It was weird.

Have anything you want me to talk about? Let me know in an e-mail:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Wanna hear something sage-like? Being bound to your word is what separates the men from the boys, and bravery from cowardice.

Happy Thanksgiving from Eel Sushi

2009-11-26T13:57:00.000-08:00

I for one, and thankful for everyone who reads this blog. Your viewership is highly valued. I'm also thankful for technology, metal music, going to an awesome university, and many other things. Have a nice holiday, and lets hope that your feast is better than this one.

Oh, and just so you know, the Christmas season officially starts tomorrow. For instructions on how to behave, please re-read this post.

Return of the Fangirls

2009-11-20T17:02:00.000-08:00

Meet Bram Stoker, Author of Dracula.

"What!? They don't sparkle!"

Question: If we had to burn books for heat to keep us warm, what section of the library would be the first to be burned?

Answer: What section are the Twilight series kept in?

It's true my dear readers. While much of the American population (mostly squealing fangirls) has been seemingly hypnotized by sparkly Vammeyers with a half popped-collar, I remain on the other side, where there is less squealing, less collar-popage, and far less annoyance.

So, as it turns out, Hollywood has kept up their streak of predictability and produced not only a sequel, but a sequel of a book. Frequent readers of this blog (bless your hearts) have a clear idea about my view on the Twilight saga*. However for you newcomers (also bless your hearts), allow me to paint a vague picture of my opinion on the cultural phenomenon. There is Facebook group called "Husbands annoyed by Twilight". As soon as I get married, I'm joining that group.

*Saga? Saga? I thought the word 'saga' was reserved for anime and science fiction, especially anime science fiction. Since when did Twilight get put into the same category as DragonBall Z?

I explained in a previous post that while I absolutely loathe the Twilight series, the series itself doesn't annoy me nearly as much as most of its devoted fans do, and this hasn't changed at all. Every now and again, my roommate will have a group of people over and they will watch a movie on his projector, and two nights ago they selected Twilight. Not wanting to be a party pooper, I stayed in the room while the movie was playing. However, not wanting to lose my sanity, I attempted to entertain myself by doing two things: being of Facebook, and ruthlessly making fun of the movie. This is always fun with the right group of people, but what I've found that I probably would have been better off going to bed early.

You see, the people my roommate invited were devoted Twilight fans. The conversations that were occurring while the film was playing really did nothing but strengthen this opinion of mine. An example of these conversations happened when a few of us started laughing during the part where the main Vammeyer told the Rabbit-toothed girl that he liked to watch her while she slept*. One of the girls that was with us said:

"Wait! This movie gets better!"

Unfortunately for her, we had all already seen this movie. A few of us chimed in saying:

"No. No it doesn't. This movie kinda sucks."

"But he's soooo cute!"

"Um, your not creeped out at all that he watches her sleep?"

"It's cute!"

"So what if I told you that I watched you while you slept, was over a hundred years old, and wanted to eat you?"

"I would [choke you to death]*!"

*This part was changed in case my mother reads this. If that is the case, hi mom! How are you doing? Sorry I didn't call on Sunday. It slipped my mind, and as soon as I remembered, I was at a friend's house and didn't want to be rude. I love you and miss you dearly! -Nintendood

This is a phenomenon that confuses me. If there are any ladies reading this (again, bless your hearts), would you care to explain this too me? Do most girls surrender their common sense and their "creeper" alarm if a guy had girly lips and wears glitter? I have an explanation, but please let me know if I need correction via the e-mail address below or in the comment section.

Why is it that most of the fans of Twilight are girls, and not guys? The answer is the same reason why most of the fans of Playboy magazine are men instead of women. Twilight is, essentially, pornography for women. How is this possible? There are no images within the books? dictionary.com give several definitions of pornography. These include:

1. Obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit.

2. Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.

Think about it. Most guys would find it creepy if a girl stared at them while they slept. However, in today's society, it's hard to find a guy who would be creeped out, or even opposed to, a porn star staring at him in his sleep. I especially enjoy the first definition here because of the last six words, because in all reality, that is what the Twilight series is.

That being said, I will never marry a girl who is into the Twilight series.

Question? Comments? Hate mail? Answers to MY questions, comments, or loathes? E-mail me at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Go read Dracula my Bram Stoker. It's brilliant.

Not Talk Radio

2009-11-16T17:55:00.000-08:00

"Sorry Kanye. I'm happy for you, and Imma' letchoo finish, but I listen to European music. Oh, I was kiddin" about lettin' you finish."

One thing I never really appreciated growing up was talking with my siblings. When I was a young tyke, my sisters usually made sure to take advantage of my naive-ness. For example, there was this unique game we used to call Uh-Oh. The game is much like tag, where a bunch of squirrelly adolescents running around trying to touch each other, despite the cooties epidemic that we were all to certain of. However, the game had an unfortunate catch at my expense. Usually, when one is tagged in this game, they are it. In Uh-Oh, I was always it*. I always hated that game.

*However, as it turns out, this wasn't much different from me playing regular tag. My pudgy little body couldn't keep up with the athletic figures of the other kids. This explains why I never enjoyed basketball, resorting to my almost inhuman Pokemon obsession.

However sappy it may sound, though, college by myself has made me miss my siblings greatly, so being able to have the time to speak on the phone with any of them is a real treat. So, it was nice to get a call from my dear sister, who is currently residing in Provo, Utah. Like always, we got caught up on each other lives and whats been going on. Somehow, our conversation drifted into an interesting subject, which is what I'm going to blog about today.

Everybody likes music too some degree. Whether its country, polka, or European Symphonic Metal, everyone has their thing. For the most part, the kind of music we listen to says a great deal about our personalities.

Now, my musical choice has always been a unique one, save for the early 90's when everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) was into N*SYNC. Other than that, my musical tastes have never been what you would call mainstream. Take my favorite band, Nightwish, for instance. Have you ever heard of them? Unless your one of the people who know me really well, probably not. What I've realized is that among many reasons, one reason that I like Nightwish so much is because they aren't mainstream. Is this big headed? Perhaps. However, it serves me well, because as far as I know, Nightwish has never been on a Kidz Bop album*, like much of America's greatest hits.

*And if it ever is, we know that the apocalypse is here. It was bad enough when they did a "remake" of Headstrong by Trapt. Don't believe me? look it up on iTunes.

My roommates will attest to the fact that I am challenged when it comes to the names of many bands/artists. One particular roommate, who I will call Guitar Man, often gets into conversations with fellow guitar players about the various artists he likes or not. Sometime, I will get into these conversations with Guitar Man, and I will recognize maybe 1 in 15 artists he mentions.

While this doesn't really bother me, sometimes, I just feel stupid. Occasionally, people will ask me if I know a band, and out of a sheer will to not look musically illiterate, I say "I've heard of them, but I've never heard them". Chances are, when I say this to you, it usually means I have never heard of that particular band. Pathetic? Yes. Useful? Very Yes.

Got any cool bands you wanna show me? Got any lame bands you wanna show me? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

I didn't start the fire! Geez!

Open-Minded Fanboyism

2009-11-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

Picture semi-unrelated. It makes a great desktop wallpaper though.

Over the course of my high school and college careers, I realized that there are three things that I really don't like. These are:

1. The Twilight series.

2. Mac computers.

3. President Barack Obama.

I will explain why. I see Twilight as a women's equivalent of the Sport's Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, giving it little to no literary significance, and intensely annoying husbands, boyfriends, fathers, and other males. I see Mac computers as more of a toy and less of a computer, giving them little to no technological variation, and annoying techies, geeks, and other computer-using people. I see President Barack Obama as more of a political celebrity, creating too much idol worship, and annoying democrats, republicans, and other people.

Now I understand that at this is will cause many people to stop reading here and now, especially if your a super Obama-supporting, mac-using, Twilight-loving type person. Before you do, I would like to point out that the purpose of this blog entry is not to slam on President Obama, not to slam on Steve Jobs, nor to slam on the Twilight series*.

*Trust me. I think I've done that enough here, and it will only continue once New Moon is released.

Instead, I would like to discuss a concept that I believe could be extremely beneficial to people who are trying to get other people to believe what they do, or even to just get people to understand their point of view. This concept is one I like to call "Open-Minded Fanboyism".

First, allow me to illustrate for you, my reader, what a Fanboy is. Amongst the gaming community, a Fanboy is someone who is hopelessly devoted to a certain gaming console, whether it be the Playstation 3, the Xbox 360, or the Nintendo Wii. These kinds of people are typically very biased towards their chosen console, and tend to get into pointless, almost funny, arguments online, debating towards their chosen side by way of insults, and almost always ending in the same result. That result? Nothing gets accomplished.

Now, these kinds of online (and offline) debates have something in common. For the most part, most of their debating tactics involve a heavy supply of emotion. While having an emotional connection with your argument is always a plus when debating something, it will most definitely become detrimental to your cause if that is your soul tactic for discussion.

Now this concept of "Open-Minded Fanboyism" does not require for anyone, Fanboy or non-Fanboy, to severe their emotional connection with anything, whether it be a video game console or a political figure. However, what it does is takes the "Fanboyism" approach to persuasive discussion and adds one simple element. Good, intelligent, facts.

You see, what I found about Twilight, Macs, and President Barack Obama is that as much as I dislike them, what I dislike far more are many of their fans. What I've seen is that many of these people are very strong in their stances, and they have dumb reasons to back them up. I've mentioned a few on this blog, but some I would like to reiterate.

"Twilight is so good! Edward Cullen is so hot!". "Macs are just better!". "Barack Obama closed down Guantanamo Bay!".

The problems with these arguments are that they are mainly emotionally driven, with little facts to support them. Jessica Alba is an attractive woman, but that doesn't make The Eye a good movie, at all. Macs may be better, but how are they better? As it turns out, President Obama hasn't shut down Guantanamo Bay. Look it up.

The point I'm attempting to get across here is this. If you have an assertion, and you want to discuss with someone who has opposite views, be prepared to back up your argument with intelligent conversation. Never try to demean your opponent, nor try to make them out as stupid for having such an opinion.

Being a Fanboy is fun. Being an Open-Minded Fanboy is fun for everyone.

If your brutally offended, oh well. Otherwise, send me an e-mail to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Oh,and thanks for everyone who sent me sympathy from last week.

The Terrorist Inside Us All

2009-11-01T22:09:00.000-08:00

It's like a thunderstorm in your stomach.

It was a good Halloween night. I went to a cool dance party hanging out with a cool girl dressed up like King Bowser, got a free taco from Taco Bell, and got to watch a movie that was funny, even though it didn't look like it would be. It seemed like a good day.

I crawled into bed the way I usually go to sleep. I put on my awesome pajama bottoms, said my nightly religious ceremony, and tried to forget about the huge project I have due on Friday. I was successful in my endeavors and managed to snag a few hours of ever so lovely sleep.

Now for the past week, I haven't been sleeping particularly well for a variety of different reasons. This being said, when I woke up at around 3:30 am, I was frustrated, but not surprised. I climbed down my ladder off my bed, and walked around my small apartment for a little bit. Hoping that the light in the kitchen would help me feel a bit more tired. I the crawled back in bed.

Something wasn't right.

It seemed like a cramp, so I decided to just shrug it off and just wait until the cramp went away. However, this cramp was being devilish. It decided that it wanted to hurt more, and more, until eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore. I then remembered an interesting instance that happened last summer.

For those of you who are unaware, I have a twin brother. Back when I was working at the door-to-door sales job, my brother was working there with me. Neither of us were exceptionally fond of the job, so making excuses to get off early or just simply not go were a nasty temptation. One day, as I was about to head off to work, I checked to make sure my brother was ready to ask random strangers if they wanted to watch even more TV.

He was on the floor, doubled over in "pain". I told him to stop whining and get ready for work. He convinced me that he was too sick to work, and not wanting to be late to work, I left him there. Once I got to work, it was my task to explain to my boss why my brother was a no-show. My response was simply "He's at home whining 'cause of a tummy-ache".

As it turns out, I didn't give my brother nearly as much credit as he deserved. The pain was apparently so intense that he was sent to the hospital, where he was diagnosed as having a kidney stone. For those of who are unaware of what a kidney stone is, I will not explain it in this blog.

The people at the clinic sent him home with enough sedative prescription drugs to make him suspicious. The experience is supposed to resemble that pf childbirth, making it one of the most painful experiences known to man. Even more painful than listening to the Kidz Bop version of Headstrong.

Now, my experience with the cramp wasn't involved with a cramp at all. It was in fact a kidney stone as well. After searching my apartment for ibuprofen in vain, I finally awoke my roommate and headed to the emergency room. This whole time, it felt as though someone had taken a pencil and shoved it into my side.

So yeah, that's how my weekend went.

Wanna send me some sympathy? Send it to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Gooooooood times.

Possibly Wasting Trees

2009-10-25T22:29:00.000-07:00

Poor, poor, poor sucker.

The other day, I got convinced into purchasing a cactus.

Every Friday in the Crossroads (the cafeteria at BYU Idaho where I consume most of my meals), there are a few tables set up right by the main entrance with dozens of shrubberies of all shapes and sizes to be purchased from, courtesy of the horticulture department. While I have not been charged by the Knight Who Say Ni, I found myself with the urge to by something green and alive, giving me a two-and-a-half inch tall cactus, now named Morticus.

My time here at BYU Idaho has brought into my life the full throttle of extra curricular activities. On my side table/dresser are maybe thirty different pamphlets, leaflets, and flyer(lets?). All of these are from different organizations or promote different shows and events going on on campus.

My experience of being a door-to-door salesman has created a very interesting characteristic of mine. No matter what, if someone has something they want to promote or advertise, I will humor them by listening to what they have to say, even if I have no intention of participating in what they have to offer. By doing this, I can sometimes engage in an entertaining conversation, or in this most recent case, obtain a plant to decorate my apartment.

This being said, if any of you activity people are reading this, keep in mind that I do sometimes have a legitimate interest in what you are selling/promoting. For example, I auditions for your stand-up show and i bought your cactus. Best of luck to all of you.

I may have discussed this before, but being nice to people is crucial to having people be nice to you. It's not karma, it's simply a law of nature. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Newton said that, right?

Before i close this short blog entry, I want to show you something that was brought to my attention by my Computer Science teacher. It's this, and it's quite exciting, especially for techies like me.

Want a longer blog post? Give me idea on what to blog about at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Don't do drugs.

Funny Things

2009-10-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

Laugh, dangit.

This week was a busy one for me here at BYU Idaho. I had two tests, a friggen hard program to write, and grocery shopping to fit into there. However, not knowing that many people in Rexburg, as well as not having my Wii right here in front of me, gives me lots of time to manage.

On top of all this I also had a neat opportunity. There is an event going here next week called Sit Down for Stand Up. Basically, it's a show for college kids who are funny, as well as those who are only semi-funny. When I was a little ADHD kid, I thought I was hilarious and wanted to be a stand up comedian. While my life ambitions have since changed, I thought it would be a fun thing to try out. So, I wrote up some funny jokes and gave it a shot.

I didn't make call backs, but that's okay. That gave me one less thing to worry about. I was planning on posting a video of my show as a blog update, but since that isn't gonna happen anymore, I have provided for you the script here below (which isn't word for word what my performance was like, but close enough). I would much appreciate if you laugh.

Good Evening everybody! Thanks for coming out tonight! I’m just gonna introduce myself a little bit. My name’s Adam. I’m from a little town called Salem Oregon, and I am a twin.

Now I know what you ladies are thinking. “There’s TWO of him!?” Before you get too excited, you should probably know two things. First of all, he’s in Hawaii. Second of all, we’re both premies (pre-missionaries), meaning we are both also freshman. Sorry ladies. Don’t worry though; I’m sure the next two and a half years will go by fast, especially if you’re asleep the whole time.

So what’s up with this crazy world anyways? So much stuff is happening that makes me wanna go like “wait, whaa!?” Did you hear that we are putting explosives on the moon? I mean I thought out casting Pluto was harsh. For years, I have wanted to see somebody go to Mars on TV. The latest I’ve seen about NASA on TV is how they now make mattresses. Not even for the US, they’re for the Swedes! I mean, as though NASA had a bad rep for peoples sleeping troubles. I can see him now. “People keep blaming us for bad sleep. What the heck are we gonna do!?”

One of the things I love about this place is that age perception is practically thrown out the window. It’s so weird when people, especially girls, as me “so where did you serve your mission?” For the most part I’m honest about it, and I’ll be like “I’m actually only 18.” Sometimes, though, if I wanna be mean, I’ll turn it into a game for myself where I get a different place every time.

“Where did you serve your mission?”

“New York!”

“Where did you serve your mission?”

“I went to Mexico City.”

Sometimes, I’ll throw in a little accent. “Where did you go on your mission?”

“Frankfurt Germany!”. That’s one’s easy cause I took German for four years in high school. Sometimes, however, these kind of conversations don’t go the way I want them to.

“Where did you serve your mission?”

“Taiwan”. Then they’ll start speaking to me in Chinese and I’m just like. “uuuuuuh, I like you too.” Even worse than that is the other scenario.

“Where did you serve your mission?”

“I served in, uh, um, well, Oregon…?”

Oh man, I love it here. Despite the fact that I’ll be a freshman for three years, I still love it here. What I love is how different everything is here as opposed to regular school back home.

For example, everyone here dresses up on Tuesdays. Only at an LDS school would that not be seen as a protest of some kind.

The ultimate difference, though, has to be dating. Compared to back home, finding a girl to date is a piece of cake. Here, not so much. Even getting a number requires effort. This one time a few weeks ago, I was at a block party. This girl was walking around with a pizza box and she says “hey! You want some pizza?” I said “no thanks”. Then I made the mistake of thinking I was smooth. I said “but ill take your number”. I have never been more embarrassed to see someone’s left ring finger.

Dating is fun though. What I found out is that an awesome date activity is Apples to Apples. I love that game! For those of who are unaware of what Apples to Apples is, you need to get out more. That game is fun stuff, especially with a group date. However, to be honest I’m not sure if the game likes me. Now I’m not sure if this is part of the game or not, but at the end, you’re supposed to use the cards to describe yourself. “I’m smart, funny, and attractive. What are you Adam?” “I’m fat, stupid, lazy, smelly, and boring.” Every time.

Now of course there’s the classic date of going to the movies. I also love the movies. However this also has become a challenge nowadays. I mean nowadays, it’s hard to find a good, original movie. Almost every movie is a book, a sequel, or a remake. While these are good and all, I’ll be honest I’m shaky about the impending day when we have I Love Lucy, starring Drew Barrymore. They haven’t announced it yet, but I mean (shudders).

While I don’t claim to be a dating expert, guys, there are three words you can say in any conversation if you want to guarantee that the girl has a bad memory of the date. Those three words are “World of Warcraft”.

While I don’t claim to be a dating expert, gals, there are two words you can say in any conversation if you want to guarantee that the guy has a bad memory of the date. Those two words are “Edward Cullen”.

Another bad idea for a date is to give your date swine flu. Now I know this means that, if you’re sick with the swine flu, you shouldn't date. But don’t worry. I have a theory about swine flu that should shed some light on the situation.

Remember a few years ago when everyone was freaking out about bird flu? Remember a few years earlier when everyone was freaking out about mad cow? What do birds, cows, and pigs have in common? Exactly. They are all part of the Chinese zodiac. I think that the illnesses are simply jumping from animal to animal. Just imagine how epic Dragon Flu is gonna be.

You guys are excellent! Stay sharp!

Did you think this was funny? Did you want me to talk about something else? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Is this thing on?

The iPod-Generated Blog

2009-10-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Random? Nope.

I'm going to conduct a strange type of blog today. I am going to put my iPod on shuffle, and write a paragraph that begins with the song name. This may be a failure, or a success. You can be the judge of that when this is all over.

Edge Closer to the edge. What does this mean? That means that you should work everyday to get closer to the edge. What is the edge, you may be asking? Luckily enough, you get to decide. This may be that awesome project you were going to do that involved making a small drum set out of Pringle tubes, or it could be the courage to ask out that lovely Young lady or that handsome young man. Keep in mind, you don;t actually have to go off the edge, just get closer to it.

Woman is the word that is opposite from the word man. This has been the case since the dawn of time. In fact, I'm certain that every language has both a word for "man" and "woman". They have rarely been the same word. I would highly encourage that you learn the difference between the two, because messing those words in public could end up embarrassing at least one person in the vicinity.

In the End of the week, I rejoice. This is because I am excited that I have a two day period where I have no classes. True, I still do homework, but I get to do it at a more leisurely pace. In addition, I have more time do the things that are fun around here. Maybe I can just skip it for a few hours and go bowling, or hang out with a man. I mean woman. Dangit.

"Hero's Return" is the way I would describe the way I want my homecoming to be when i get back from college, as well as my mission. My friends and family will throw around confetti and present me with delicious edible substances. If any of you are reading this, I love hummus and nutella, as well as anything deep fried. In fact, I have always wanted to try a Philly cheese steak wrapped in bacon and deep fried. Just some humble suggestions.

Red Sam, Blue Sam, One Sam, Two Sam. I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes. Next paragraph!

Remember Me, Debra? I sat next to you in science a couple days ago. I feel bad because I never got your number. This is a shame because I talk you almost every class period. We should hang out sometime. I'm free this weekend. Go ahead and give me a call. Wait, that won't work. We don't have each other's numbers. Bummer. See you next week.

Facade. What a great phrase. I didn't even know what it meant for the longest time. In fact, i think the only time I really knew what it meant was in Mr. Nickel's Art History class. This was because it's the name of a architectural structure in ancient Egypt, It's kind of like a big wall in front of something else. I don't remember much more then that. I should have taken better notes. Sorry Mr. Nickel. If it;s any consolation, that was the best history class I've ever taken. However, that can change if I get the chance to take History of Zombie Myths.

Sadie Hawkins Dance was an experience in high school that I never got to participate in. Was I missing out? Who knows? I don't even think my highs school had that dance. I don't feel bad though. Most of our school dances suck, so I heard. Besides, they costed money. Paying money to go to a dance is like eating concrete. It's stupid, and nobody should do it.

Well, that's it for this week. If you wanna send me a spiffy e-mail, send it to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Go buy a lava lamp.

Another One About Weather

2009-09-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

The possibilities are endless.

Good Afternoon. First off, I would like to apologize to anybody who may have felt that my last blog was extremely biased. The truth is, yes it was extremely biased. Most statements made by fanboys are exactly that, extremely biased. However, unlike most fanboys, I still manage to stay open minded at the same time. I do not doubt the Mac's can be good for a certain group of people that are not me.

Last night in Rexburg, something interesting happened that I should have seen coming, yet didn't. We had an atmospheric visitor come and go while some of us were sound asleep. Just as the forecasts had predicted, it snowed last night. While the snow didn't necessarily stay long enough to stick, it did manage to make it cold enough for me to wear a sweater AND a jacket.

This came as a surprise to me. Being from Oregon, it's only natural for me to get snow in December, and maybe early January. Also being from California, snow means that the Apocalypse has begun and to lock your doors. Just to be clear, it's still September. Halloween hasn't even happened yet. Rexburg appears to be a magical place that skips summer and goes straight to winter.

What came even more to a surprise to me is due to my Oregonian background. It absolutely astounded me that the weather prediction was actually right. If you look at an old post of mine, you'll recall how I discussed how the weatherman in Oregon has a pretty crappy reputation of almost always being wrong, and looking great while being wrong. Usually for me, when the weather says it's going to snow, it almost certainly means it's NOT going to snow. Having a correct assessment of the atmospheric effects on our daily lives is like an early Christmas present for me.

While this adjustment of the weather has been surprising, it has not been very difficult, nor does it appear to be so for the other students here. Yesterday, everyone was wearing one of two outfits. They were either wearing short sleeves and long pants, or church dress*. This morning? Everyone was wearing comfortable jackets, the occasional beanie hat, and the frequent scarf. It was quite a sight to see this early in the Autumn.

*For those of you who do not attend BYU Idaho, we have a little thing in Tuesdays called Devotional. Basically, it's a spiritual seminar that ask participants to wear their Sunday best. You know you go to a Mormon school when you go to a science class and everybody is dressed like they're going to church.

To the ladies of the campus. I happen to know that cuddling with a man makes the winter cold seem to go away, especially accompanied by a good movie and hot chocolate. It is essential to our survival that the cuddling ensue as soon as possible.

My fellow students, I hope you enjoy the coming havoc brought by the native precipitation. Those of you in other places, go bowling. It's fun.

Anything you want to say straight to my face? Why in stead send me an e-mail to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

May the snuggies be worn.

PC vs. Mac

2009-09-23T21:09:00.000-07:00

No Comment.

When it's that time of your life when you must leave the life of having your mom do your laundry and learn to get a real job that doesn't involve being able to remember what the fat guy wanted on his sandwich, it's important that one becomes well equipped to be fully and efficiently educated. This means cooking supplies*, stationary, and of course, sweet sweet technology.

*Really all you need are some bowls and a ramen pot. If you wanna be really cool, you eat your ramen with chopsticks.

Having a laptop for school has helped me out immensely so far. I can only imagine just how much it would have helped me in high school. Everybody knows that taking notes is essential to a good grade, and it's easier to take notes is if I can keep up with what the teacher/professor is saying. While I can't type as fast as I can talk just yet, I can type faster than I can write. Perhaps if i had my own laptop in high school I might have done better in my history courses with Mr. Nickel.

Now ever since the release of the iPod, Apple has been doing a crapload better than their pre-iPod era. With this new found explosions of money, they decided to do what they probably should have been doing the whole time. They put effort into putting their computers into peoples hands. This means bright colors and using the guy from Live Free Die Hard* to make PC's look like a bumbling idiot.

*It's interesting how in that movie he used a PC the whole time during that movie. Seems ironic that the guy who resembles the jerk that stole the geek's girlfriend used the geek to save the world.

Now, you may have guessed at this point, I am a PC lover. However, don't get me wrong. I don't think that Steve Jobs is an idiot. Anybody who is willing to sell their car for a bunch of circuit boards, thus becoming a multi-billionaire and one of the biggest names in technology ever obviously knows what he's doing. However, I do not think that Macs are better than PCs.

Now, hear is what I've heard as a counterargument.

"Mac's don't get viruses!". The funny thing about it is that yes, they do. Something I learned while studying computer science is that every program has bugs. Where there are bugs, there are hackers who make it a game to exploit those bugs. Saying that Macs don't get viruses is an easy way to show someone like me that you don't understand computers. I can understand why there arn't many viruses designed for Macs*, after all, they only got big a few years ago after the iPod came out. Until then, all there was were PC's. This means that PC's have had more time to have viruses made for them. This doesn't mean the Mac systems are better, it simply means that time hasn't taken it's toll. My sister had to get a Mac for her work, and after about 6 months or so, it's a crippled mess. Macs are not invincible.

*Dear Hackers. I hope you're all well. I don't mean to come off strong, but you guys need to step it up. You've had your fun on the PC's, and I think it's time for a New Era of technological havoc. I'm sure most of you are PC guys anyways. As a brother, help support the cause. Sincerely, Nintendood.

"Macs have sweet editing software!". I'll give you that, Macs. However, is that a reason to pay more for a computer? Maybe if you are doing something professional, but if you just need a computer, that's not enough to make that much of a difference. I do just fine with Windows Movie Maker. I used it to make cool stuff like this, free of charge.

Here are some things you can't do with Macs with nearly as much proficiency as a PC. First of all, games. PC's are what you need if you want the power to have sweet graphics and online mind-numbingness. Second, you can't modify the hardware of a Mac Nearly as easy as a PC. That means if technology drastically changed over the years, instead of simply installing the new hardware into the PC you already have, you must instead buy a new Mac. For a guy like me who wants to build a computer from the ground up, that is a real waste of money.

So, that being said, I encourage people to remember that good advertising only brings hype. And hype leads to lies. Lies lead to sadness. Sadness leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the Dark Side. The Dark Side leads to genocide.

If you dare to argue me, send an e-mail to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

It's chilly out there.

The Stupidfriend

2009-09-18T15:42:00.000-07:00

Picture unrelated. I just like technology.

Now before, I begin this post, I would just like to point out that while I am a ladies man, if you are ever having relationship troubles, this isn't a place to get advice for it. Additionally, if you are trying to understand how to attract women or men, this will never be much of a valuable resource. However, reading Eel Sushi every now and again will make your a cooler person overall.

Now that being said, I do have one piece of advice to give to you, my dear reader. If you are currently dating someone who is a jerk to your siblings, ditch em. Being on good terms with your boyfriend/girlfriends family is always a plus, and makes the experience a lot more enjoyable. Not to mention if they're rich and they die, you might get in on that financial surprise.

Now the reason I tell you this is because of my writing class. We were given an assignment where in the next couple weeks we are expected to write a four to five page essay on an experience that changed our perspective on something. During a brainstorming exercise, I was reminded of an unfortunate event that happened to me when I was about eight years old involving my sister's ex-boyfriend.

We would often go to a local swimming pool called the Cabana Club when I was young, and let me tell you, that place was fricken awesome. It had everything from a miniature water slide, to a miniature wading pool, to a not-so miniature snack bar. We always went there at least twice a week each summer. For an eight-year-old who was obsessed with Pokemon, two pools and a snack bar was all I needed to step away from the Catch-Em-All fever*. Needless to say, it rocked.

*This is actually not entirely true. I remember once I was there I pretended to be a Blastoise in the water, and I was swimming to fast I ran into the side of the pool face first. This means that the Cabana Club also marks the first time I ever got stitches.

One time we went there, my elder sister brought her lamefriend to the cabana club while I was there. I was only nine, so I was still just developing my amazing swimming skills. The dumbfriend thought it would be super manly to dunk me underwater, which would have been semi-acceptable. What made it very much un-funny was the fact that I was down there for a good 30 seconds more than I typically used to with my still developing lungs.

Yeah, it sucked. It kinda ruined my perception of the guy, which was a shame, because beforehand I thought he wasn't to bad of a guy. My twin thought he was a neato guy, and those were the days where I typically agreed with whatever he said. Those were also the days when I was a whole head taller than him. Good times.

Again, if your jerkfriend is mean to your siblings, ditch em. Your better off dating somebody you met on World of Warcraft, and believe me, that's saying something.

Any stories of almost drowning? Upset I won't give relationship advice? Upset I exposed your significant other as an idiot? Send an e-mail to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Have a nice weekend everybody. Don't do drugs.

Super School Place

2009-09-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

Yup. That's where I am.

I know it's probably been blogged about before, but this update is about college.

Now before any of you make any assumptions, I haven't tried smoking or gotten into any underage drinking just because I'm out of the house. Just a reminder, I am quite Mormon and so is the school I am attending, so even if I wanted to, I don't think the university has the kind of resources to go "ka-razy". The edgiest I've gotten is not cleaning my room.

In fact, to be completely honest, so far, thats the best thing about college. If my room stays dirty, that's perfectly ok. You'd think the roommate would be upset, but I took special care to make sure that only my side of the room stays completely trashed. In addition, the roommate doesn't care if I have geeky collectable figurines laying around, like the Giratina figurine sitting on top of my Nintendo DS that I got from pre-ordering Pokemon Platinum Version, or the gigantic Sephiroth poster I got from the Oregon State Fair when I couldn't go to Kumoricon.

One thing I was expecting to be a drag was the fact that I would be forced to put physical effort into transporting my body from one place to another. I mean sure, walking was a part of my last job, but I got payed for that. Walking around everywhere for free hardly sounds worth it. However I found it to be a refreshing experience. I almost LIKE it. In fact, just yesterday I got the opportunity to be an extra in a campus-sponsored ad to promote walking instead of driving to save gasoline. It required crossing the street over and over again, but that could very much have been the beginning of my career as a professional extra. Look out world.

I want to take a moment for a serious message. My college experience has made me learn to appreciate something that I believe people tend to overlook far too often. As I would sit there at night doing some Calculus homework, I would realize just how important my lava lamp is. At the end of the day, after three or four classes, my lava lamp is always there to brighten my room. The green, lively blobs amongst the soothing blue liquid is something I can say that every college student needs. I don't know where I'd be today without it.

What you may be wondering is, "What about the college diet of Top Ramen and Hot Pockets? Anything to say about that?". Luckily for me, my parents back home were generous enough to provide a nice meal plan for me. Some say this ruins the college experience. Maybe so. My entire stock of food is composed of four bags of top ramen I haven't eaten, a box of Hamburger Helper, and a loaf of bread to be used with Nutella, a delicious chocolate like spread found in Ferra Rochers*. The cafeteria food here is actually not that bad, and the facility they are provided in is shiny enough to put Kitchen Stadium from Iron Chef to shame.

*Did I spell this correctly?

I have a project I might put into action soon that might dramatically improve my status as an Internet celebrity. In order to increase the viewership here on campus, I'm going to be posting the URL to this blog all around campus on little pieces of paper taped to buildings and phone poles. This being said, if any of you read this blog regularly, go ahead and tell your friends about it. Just think of what state of being they would be in if you didn't tell them about Eel Sushi. It's a service to your buddies.

Questions about the campus? Questions about my real identity? Questions about Mythology? send an e-mail to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Have a nice weekend.

A New Chapter

2009-09-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

And I ain't NEVER going back.

It's that time in my life where I move into a new place. While I've done this before, this time is different because my parents aren't coming with me. Instead it's just me, my clothes, and my Super Nintendo, heading off to the state of Idaho to learn how to hack into the Pentagon.

This makes the total time I've lived in Salem to be somewhere around five years. While my 8th-grade self was at first quite resilient to moving from California, over the years I learned to love the capitol of Oregon. This blog entry is here to list the things I'm going to miss from Salem.

Borderlands. This game and hobby shop was basically the place where all the geeky people in Salem did all of their geeky stuff when they weren't doing it at home. I remember the good ol' days when I would go down and pay lots of money so I could go and play Yu-Gi-Oh with people I had never met before. The best part about it is how every time I go there, I feel that all my geeky hobbies are completely healthy in comparison to the guy dressed up as Goku from Dragonball Z.

Sprague High School. Say what you want, this institution of high school was the best public school experience I ever had. That being said, California school systems suck, and it was a relief to finally leave for something taken more seriously. I learned a lot, and being a part of the Marching Band was amazing. Go Olys.

Clouds and Rain. I love cloudy and rainy weather for a variety of reasons. First off, it's far more difficult to get sunburned in such weather. Readers of Eel Sushi and family members will know how big of an issue this is for me. Also, the weather compliments the greenery of the place is awesome. It looks cooler than the smog of other places.

Wonderland. I don't know of any other place that has the F-Zero Arcade.

The Wild Pear. I'm referring to the River Road location, not the downtown one. This was an awesome little cafe that was close to where I used to live. I remember taking a short walk down there to get some amazing key lime pie, or the delicious bottled root beer they sold. It has the type of atmosphere that made you feel cool just by being there.

No Sales Tax. 1.00 for 1.00. 'Nuff said.

So, it is today that I say goodbye to Salem. But then again, I'll be back by Christmas. Perhaps I'm just being a bit over dramatic.

Wanna send me an e-mail? All the cool kids are doing it.

eelsushi.blogspot.com

Bye Bye Beautiful.

Can Fat People be Kidnaptured?

2009-08-27T11:17:00.000-07:00

As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting The Fat Vote

Nowadays, it seems as though you can't go a month without seeing some type of obesity report on the local news. These are typically presented by showing shots of overweight people walking around, yet omitting their faces. This as well as Micheal Jackson's death seem to be all the media talks about now.

However, perhaps the increasing amount of fat people isn't a total loss. Has anybody ever considered that there might be an upside to the obesity epidemic?

One time at band camp, I was with a friend of mine, and i asked the question "Can fat people get kidnaptured?". After a brief pause he asked me, "Did you just say kidnaptured?". It was then that I realized that not only had I just made up a new word, but it took a few days to realize that my question had not been answered. So that still begs the question: Can fat people get kidnaptured?

The issue resides with being able to move someone who is large and unwilling to leave their current location. Now in order to stop the victim from flailing around, he would probably be knocked unconscious. However, at that point, you have a three-hundred pound treasure that you have to get into a van of some kind. How is this done easily and silently?

Having a team of buff guys to help you out may sometimes be good way to accomplish this. After all, they probably bench a good 150 pounds every day, so dividing three-hundred amongst maybe four guys would make it pretty easy, except for the fact that it would be hard to stay subtle and maneuverability may be an issue. If the fat person you are kidnapturing is in a warehouse, a louder yet more person effective way to transport them may be by forklift.

This brings another factor into the equation. What type of fat person are we talking about here? If it's somebody who is overweight due to excess consumption of deep fried foods, perhaps unconsciousness isn't even necessary. All you need in this case is to take a trip to KFC in your van, have a mini-fan ready and when he comes by, blow the scent of all eleven herbs and spices when he comes by and presto. At that point, all you do is play the waiting game. The process can sometimes be sped up by monstrously eating a leg right in front of his eyes, and saying "mmmmm....TASTY!!!".

Sometimes it might be possible to still knock out the victim and move them with only one person, but this only applies to people who are really REALLY fat. Once the victim isn't flailing around anymore, it may be possible to roll the victim into your van. If there a downhill slope on the way, thats great. If so, however, it also important to maintain control of the rotating person. If they roll too fast, they could run into a fire hydrant, bursting it, and making a huge scene.

So, to answer the question, I say yes, however, a detailed and accurate plan must first be devised. Keep in mind that I do not support kidnapping of any kind, nor do I hate overwight people.

Any questions? Do you disagree? Are you brutaly offended? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Enjoy this blog while I get myself some KFC.

Made In Japan Is Good

2009-08-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Not Finding Nemo

There are thing's I don't like about this summer, and there are things I do like about this summer. One of my favorite parts about this summer is that I've had the chance to go to the movies on more than one occasion to see the films I desire, such as Star Trek and Harry Potter. This blog entry is about a recently released movie that I never expected to see, Hayao Miyazaki's new film Ponyo.

Now, say what you want about anime, Miyazaki films can be appreciated by anybody. They don't follow some of the aspects of anime many find annoying, like huge eyes and senseless violence. These films such as Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle are what I consider the Japanese version of Disney classics*. The animation is detailed, the music is moving, and the violence is typically meaningful.

*Now, imagine a Kingdom Hearts type scenario with Miyazaki films. Instead of combining Final Fantasy characters, we combine with characters from Halo?

That being said, I love Miyazaki films. Ponyo, however, is different from other Miyazaki films in that it's very clear that it was to be made for small children. While this typically means crappy movie, Ponyo proves that those type of instances are property of the movie industry within the United States. The movie industry of Japan, on the other hand, is capable of raising their kids on stuff that isn't necessarily crap, like Spy Kids*. When I have kids, I will have no worries showing this movie to them as five or six years olds.

*Every time I see a movie preview that says "from the maker's of Spy Kids", I always think that they still haven't accepted the fact that Spy Kids sucked. If you want a movie to sell out, try "from the maker's of Citizen Kane" or "from the producers of Lost".

Now, for those who have never heard of this film, allow me to give you a brief synopsis. A young Japanese boy, named Sosuke (pronounced so-skay), finds a goldfish on the beach, which he takes and adopts, naming it Ponyo. Ponyo grows attached to the boy, all the while aspiring to become a little human girl. It focuses mostly on the interesting relationship between Sosuke and Ponyo, as well as Lisa, Sosuke's mother.

What I found truly interesting about this film was how believable it was despite the fantastical elements. Sosuke was portrayed in a way that's made it very easy for me to guess his age. He acted the way that a typical 5-year-old would act. In fact, everyone in the story was portrayed in a way that made the world seem like a good place, however not in a strange way. These were legitimately pleasant people. This family wasn't rich, wasn't poor, wasn't perfect, and wasn't dysfunctional. It broke the mold that the films and TV industry had been setting with families that have those qualities, however they did it without having to say "They're your typical average family!".

Now, most movies have questionable content in them, even those meant for children. This movie was, hands down, the most innocent 100 minutes of movie I have ever seen. Perhaps that's what made it such a good movie for me is because these children were innocent, and the movie followed suit. I wish I was better at explaining what I mean by that, but if you see it for yourself, I think you'll agree with me.

Now, artistically, this movie varies from that of other Miyazaki films such as Princess Mononoke. It's much much simpler, and exceedingly colorful. I was expecting a detailed and accurate depiction of a goldfish, but instead got a red fish-like creature with an almost human face and orange hair. The facial depiction of the humans and the old people, however, is a distinct Miyazaki touch. The eyes aren't necessarily huge or exceedingly colorful, and the mouths aren't necessarily triangle shaped. Nobody had blue hair.

Bottom line, this movie is exceedingly heartwarming. Like Scoot Kersey said, if you haven't taken your kids to see Ponyo, your a bad parent. It's truly that simple. Good entertainment for youngin's is hard to come by, so take advantage of this rare Japanese treat while you can. I say the same thing about Eel Sushi.

Oh, and if your a fan of any of the voices of Matt Damon (Jason Bourne), Tina Fey (Sarah Palin), or Liam Neeson (Aslan, the guy from Taken, the guy who trained Batman in Batman Begins, and Qui-Gon Jinn) watch this movie.

Yeah, um, here:

celebino251@hotmail.com

In two weeks I leave for college. Holy crap.

The Crappy Job Chronicles

2009-08-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

I feel like this guy and I are brothers somehow.

I am one of the few who managed to beat the economy senseless and take all of it's belongings. Not only did I find one job, I found two. I soon decided how to distinguish the two without confusing anyone who asks. There is The Fun Job (my part time job at Gamestop), and The Crappy Job (door to door sales for Dish Network). The Crappy Job is crappy because nearly everybody I talk to hates my guts at first glance. The Fun Job is fun because I practically get paid to play video games.

At The Crappy Job, every house is pretty much the same as another. No house is unique, even the ones where I make sales. Here are a few examples of scenarios that typically happen while on the clock at The Crappy Job.

Scenario #1

(knocking is some catchy rhythm)

Person: Yeah?

Me: Hey! How are ya doin?

Person:...........

Me: Uh, well, My name's Adam. I'm with a local retailer of satellite TV here in the Salem and
Keizer area...

Person: Not Interested.

Me: Have a ni-*door slammed*

Scenario #2

(knocking in some catchy rhythm)

Person: Hello?

Me: Hey! How are you?

Person: I'm alright.

Me: Awesome, well my names Adam, and I'm from a local retailer of Satellite TV in the Salem Keizer area. We've been doing some installations in this area and were just going around trying to get some addition information. Who is your current TV provider?

Person: We're happy with what we have.

(closed door)

Scenario #3

(knocking on door in catchy rhythm)

Me: Hey! How are you?

Person: Not to bad. Yourself?

Me: I'm awesome. (continue with spiel from above).

Person: I'm with Comcast.

Me: Awesome. Are you bundles with them, where you get Internet phone and TV?

Person: No, I'm just getting Cable.

Me: Alright, and how much are you spending a month with Comcast?

Person: Oh, around $60 a month.

Me:(explaining how that is simply too much to be paying for TV, and how with Dish network, he could be saving at least $15 a month, not including the promotional price where they take an additional $15 off).

Person: We're happy with what we have.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. "Well, nobody wants to buy from some guy that shows up on their doorstep. You can't really expect people to be open to giving you all of their information". Trust me folks. I know. What you didn't pick up from the given scenario's is the tone of the people at the doors. Typically it's irritated, angry, and in some cases drunk.

Here are some things I've learned from my experiences in the Food Service industry as well as The Crappy Job. First off, going to college is very important, because these jobs suck. The easiest way to get a nice paying job that doesn't suck is college.

The other thing I learned is that when somebody is on the clock, be nice to them. Being difficult and bitter makes it really easy for the worker to hate their life*. Whether it's a banker, or the guy in the drive-through at Burger King, be kind to them. Make sure to say please and thank you sincerely. Honestly, some take it for granted, but it changed the whole experience for those behind the counter.

*I can only think of two occasions where I couldn't wait for summer to be over and for school to start. The first was when I worked at Jack in the Box, where nearly everybody there seemed to have a problem with me due to my uniform. That was the worst summer I've ever had. The other instance is now, because I'm excited for college.

So yeah. Be nice.

Questions, comments, or donations can be made via:

celebino251@hotmail.com

I would like to thank Brooke Barnard for being the first person to e-mail to the address above.

About Health

2009-08-09T23:05:00.000-07:00

No Caption.

I consider myself to be very fortunate for a variety of reasons. Among these include the fact that I am no longer in high school, I own a Wii, and that I have a blog that people still read after a year*. One thing that a lot of people take for granted nowadays, however, is how healthy they are, or how healthy they could be.

*It has been a year, hasn't it? Since I've been doing this for awhile, I'm going to take constructive criticism on my blogging habits. Feel free to post in the comment section, in the e-mail below, or via carrier pigeon. Keep in mind, all messages submitted via carrier pigeon have a 100% chance of being noted and applied.

A few weeks ago, I received a phone call from an organization that is known for helping people as well as almost killing people. It's not the Twilight fan base, but instead the good ol' Red Cross. You see, back in March, my high school was sponsoring a blood drive, and I thought it would be fun to try it out, just to see what its like. I got extra credit in a class I was almost failing, and afterward I got to eat about 5 bags of cookies. It was awesome, and I managed to save up to three lives in the process.

The phone call I received was from the same people who shorted me an eighth of my blood last time. They wanted to inform me that not only was another blood drive happening locally, but that apparently, I also have a rare/coveted blood type. They included somewhere that I could get backstage passes to a concert called Warp Tour, an entry for Lay-Z-Boy furniture raffles, and of course, free cookies.

It got me thinking. I have a rare/coveted blood type that the Red Cross, an organization renown for saving lives, is bribing me to give. I am a healthy guy who has never drank alcohol, smoked, or done anything of the matter. Is this an opportunity for me, or a duty?

I have been concerned about my health recently. I was always a lazy kid growing up. Not just lazy, but I put effort into efficient laziness. I can remember times when I would search the entire room, tearing apart couches and stuff because I wanted to find the remote to the TV. If I could efficiently spend my effort to do that, I figured I could prevent myself from putting effort into the future.

While those ten minutes of getting up and moving around lightly may have burned maybe sixty calories, it wasn't exercise by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, besides soccer that I did as a child (which was mostly spend in defense where I didn't have to do much), the first form of regular exercise I ever really got was when I enrolled in a local Tae Kwon Do academy in Salem*. I was always bad at PE, so bad in fact that in 6th grade I got an F in that class.

Nowadays, however, things are different. Except for the occasional Western Bacon Cheeseburger, I've been eating healthier foods such as salads and sandwiches rather than microwavable burritos. My new job requires that I walk around for about 4 hours a day, so I've been burning calories that way. On top of all that, I weigh myself every morning via Wii Fit to be conscious of my weight. And if anybody was curious, I was active during marching band. Sure, I was in The Pit, the only section that doesn't march, but I did push and pull heavy equipment almost every fricken day.

The point I'm trying to make is that there are people out there who need clean and healthy blood, and I am a person who is able to provide it. After I donate, I feel accomplished, important, and wobbly. But it's not a pat on the back kinda feeling. It's closer to "because I've kept myself healthy, three lives were saved".

As I look at the state of the world, the need for clean blood is rising. As younger and younger teens are smoking, drinking, and having premarital "relations", it's becoming increasingly more difficult to find people who can donate worry-free.

This is what I leave you with. Keep your body clean. Don't smoke, because not only will it kill you, but it can prevent you from saving three people. Don't drink, because it screws around with your liver and other bodily functions. Stay healthy, and donate blood whenever you can. It may sound cliche, but the world needs people to take care of themselves.

Think about it. If everyone did that, the need for health care wouldn't be as prominent.

For any contact purposes, send am e-mail to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Oh! I almost forgot! You can now follow me on Twitter. Just search Nintend00d, but use zero's, not o's. Nintendood spelled with o's was already taken. I suppose that's what I get for waiting so long to get one.

Super Wiimote Game

2009-08-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

Wii Hug. Do you?

Remember that one post I did earlier this week? You know, the one where I talked about how I'm not a huge fan of the beach? You won't hear anything of the sort in this update. Today, I am here to talk about how awesome oceans, beaches, islands and whatnot are. Yes, I do mean virtual oceans, beaches, and islands, but its the same thing, right?* This week's update is about Nintendo's new game Wii Sports Resort.

*No.

Now to be honest, I was a bit worried about how Nintendo's latest endeavor would turn out. After all, Wii Fit, Wii Music, and Wii Play were all decent. Not good, nod bad, just decent. The only good reason to purchase any of these games would be to get the free hardware included, and since Wii Music doesn't even include any of that stuff, you might as well just borrow it from your eight-year-old cousin. I intentionally leave Wii Sports out of it because it came with the Wii Console, thereby forcing you to enjoy its fun and intuitive game play as well as charming music free of charge.

Wii Sports Resort is in all reality the sequel to Wii Sports, even though there isn't a 2 at the end of it. Bowling and Golf were carried over from the original title, and tennis was basically replaced by Table Tennis. In addition, there are cool stuff such as Swordplay, Wake boarding, air sports like Skydiving, and much more. Now this may seem like just more ways Nintendo has managed to make it so that flicking the controller at the right moment will make you feel like an actual athlete rather than a pasty white guy who works part time at Gamestop, soon to be headed off to college to learn how to sit at a computer for a living. However, when you play the game, it's clear that effort was put into making the activities seem as realistic as possible, thanks to the new hardware.

WiimotionPlus may seem like a scam to the paranoid fanboy, but to the open-minded fanboy it's clear that it's the real deal. While the motion con trolls with the Wii were already nice enough, the MotionPlus takes it to the next level by simply adding some extra dimensions to the mix. I take it I wasn't the only person was though that a good sword fighting game for the Wii would be awesome. With the Wii's new peripheral, that experience is finally here, not in a full game just yet, but for now, I'll take it.

Now visually, the game is far superior to any of the Wii Series yet. The Graphics are still the same, but its the beautiful landscapes and relaxing feel of the surroundings that left me stunned. While the events in Wii Sports happened in vaguely established locations, each sport in Wii Sports Resort happens in a specific location on the fictional island Wuhu Island*, which you can fully explore with the Island Flyover game, where you can hold the Wii remote like a paper airplane and fly around as you please. Effort has been put into making the location seem like an actual island paradise, and if you have air conditioned housing and come from a long day of doing door-to-door sales for Satellite TV, it will truly feel like it.

*The only thing that would make it cooler would be if it had secret hatches all over, a giant smoke monster that kills whoever it wants, and wild polar bears. It already has an active volcano, magma and all.

Overall, the game is awesome. It's fun, visually appealing, and the perfect game for those hot summer days. To top it all off, the game includes one free WiimotionPlus, meaning you save a good $25. This is the game that you buy for the game AND the free hardware. I would recommend it for casual and hardcore gamers.

Nintendood gives Wii Sports Resort for the Wii a 9.0 out of 10.

If you disagree, agree, or are completely apathetic, send me an e-mail:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Happy 50th post everyone.

If Everyone had an Ocean?

2009-07-27T21:46:00.001-07:00

No picture this time. I'm on my uncle's computer.

I decided to stop apologizing for late updates. Not because I'm not sorry, because truly, I am. However, I'm not on any particular schedule. If I were to apologize every single time, it would get repetitive.

Of the two states I have lived in, California and Oregon, I can testify that they have little in common. Sales tax isn't present in one, an abundance of trees isn't present in the other. And each have their own interpretation of what Mountain Dew, Root Beer, and Sprite are*. As you can imagine, it was quite a culture shock when i moved up here in my thirteen-and-a-half(th?) year.

*My personal opinion? Its called Soda. Not pop, and not soda pop. Its soda. I don't care what anyone else says. If they don't say soda they're wrong. Is this close minded? Maybe.

If there is one thing that Oregon and California have in common, it lies in their geographical characteristics. They are both on the pacific coats line, and thus, they both have beaches. They beaches themselves may be dramatically different, but they are both beaches nonetheless.

Now you may be asking, "What does a geek like you have to say about the beach? Don't you just stay inside and play Animal Crossing?". Well, my dear readers, that bit is true. But believe me, there is a reason I have decided to go to the beach for these last few days.

I finally was able to say that I had beaten the economic downturn by obtaining a good paying job with good hours and applicable skills. Being a door to door salesman for Dish Network has made me tired, wealthier, and slightly more tan. However, to be completely honest, I don't particularly like the job. It's not that I'm bad at it, or that i have a bad boss. I made three sales last week and my boss is a nice guy. However, dealing with rejection over and over again gets old after a bit, and I needed a break. By opportunity came when my cousin invited me on a three day beach trip, which I am on right now.

Now I've heard people say that the are jealous that I am going to the beach, and how lucky I am to go to the beach, and while it's nice that people think I am more fortunate than them. However, I am here only to hang out with my cousin and to not go to work. I would have done this if we had instead gone to a three day knitting convention. That because the beach has never particularly tickled my fancy*.

*Brent Duford.

Sand gets everywhere. Sunburns are far more frequent. Salty water makes you thirsty. What is it about the beach that is so appealing? Hot women? Maybe back in California, but not here on the Oregon coast. The one thing I love about the beach is it's beautiful natural scenery.

So while I am out here on the coast, do not be jealous of me, and do not feel as though i cheated fate. Be happy that you are in a comfy, sand free house with air conditioning and, most likely, cable or satellite TV.

Disagree? Feel free to discuss on Facebook, or e-mail me:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Life's NOT a beach.

Witchcraft, Wizardry, and I

2009-07-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

I spy with my little eye something that rhymes with Shmay Shmumbledore.

As I'm sure your already aware, the film industry has put out yet another unoriginal film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Not only is this film based on a book series, but its a sequel of five films based on a book series. While that is typically frowned upon within the bounds of Eel Sushi, as well as VamMeyers and spiders, this particular film gets loosed of the chains of criticism and afterwords is treated to pie. And mind you, I don't just treat anybody to pie.

My experience with this film was brought about, again, via long line for the midnight showing. However, unlike the last film I went to see in the method, It was worth the wait, and the money. Sure, there were fangirls, fanboys, nerds, and people there who just wanted to get attention, but the only difference between that and my high school experiences* is that high school isn't frowned upon by the upper class and isn't nearly as entertaining. Also, not so many people in high school dress is costumes**.

*It's a strange thing when I can say "when I was in high school". It's one of those things I never thought I would say in casual conversation. That, as well as "my car" or "I can't talk right now I'm working". I still feel like a youngin, but that's probably because I still pride myself in the fact that I know the names of every Pokemon and their types.

**Except for that one time last year when some kid decided to post a news article in the school paper about how Naruto fans (a.k.a Narutards) who wore the silly headbands were actually gangsters, and that the headbands were gang symbols. This provoked a day where the Narutards went all out in a cosplaying message, complete with headbands, costumes, and relentless ridicule behind their backs. Good times.

I will point out before you all that I am extremely biased for this movie, because frankly, I love the Harry Potter novel series. It started in 6th grade, back when we still had SSR time (Sustained Silent Reading) and were required to sit there silently and stare at words until the teacher made us do something else. Either that, or actually read a book. After I was done reading Holes over and over again, I succumbed to the fad, and have read every novel as soon as I got my hands on them.

The reason it was so easy for me to read and enjoy the books was because Harry was about the same age as I was as the books were released. That way, as I grew and dealt with life problems, such as puberty and Dark Wizards trying to kill me, the same things would be happening to the characters in this book. Not to mention I am a huge geek, and books that present magic almost logically are appealing to me.

In addition, as I grew and looked at literature in a more mature and educated fashion, I can say that the books contain literary significance, as well as themes and morals that are deep and presented well within the novels, which I would love to discuss if you ever see me walking downtown or on Facebook.

Now of course, I'm not the only Harry Potter fanatic in the world, and I'm certainly not the only one who went to the midnight premier or saw the movie between then and now. Anyone who saw the movie and read the book will say "The movie was good, but they left out a bunch of stuff". And to be honest, it's true. The movie, however, showed the books in the way I had imagined them for the most part, so to be honest, it's not a huge deal to me. Movies of the fashion are meant to be visually appealing, so as long as it's not filled with humor created by a twelve year old, much like in Transformers 2, I'm fine with it.

Overall, I loved the movie. It wasn't the best film I've seen, obviously, but of the midnight premiers I've been to, this was definitely the best so far. If you have read the novels, there is no reason why you shouldn't see this film. If you haven't read the novels, you should still see it. It's entertaining to say the least.

You should know the drill by now:

celebino251@hotmail.com

And, for the record, Emma Watson is my only celebrity crush.

You Wouldn't Steal a Handbag...

2009-07-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

According to this picture, stealing brings true happiness.

I won't lie and pretend like I bought every song I own. With technology as it is, it's easy and practically untraceable to tell if my friend copied a song file and e-mailed it to me. Especially during my late middle school and late high school years, my online buddies, sometimes from other countries*, while talking via MSN Messenger would be sending files back and forth, all of this while maintaining a "conversation".

*A few years ago, we had a two-week foreign exchange student. It was a sweet girl named Aude, who I personally thought was drop dead gorgeous. After she left, we kept in touch via MSN Messenger, and she introduced me to a bunch of cool European metal that I now listen to on a regular and constant basis.

Now this trend of friendship piracy hasn't ceased, nor do I ever see it coming to a close. Why just the other day, my very close friend sent me a song that I find hilarious. However, there is a bit of trouble. I don't know the name of the song, and neither does she. On top of that, we are at a loss of the name of the artist or any other information.

This is where you, my dear readers, come in. If you know the name of the song that has these lyrics, please let me know so I'll be able to sleep tonight. That's right, I'm putting my sleeping pattern into your capable hands, so don't screw this up.

The lyrics go as follows:

It's a perfect day for punching birds
They chirp and squeak and bother me and
Fly around my head
And wake me up when I'm in bed!

It's a perfect day for punching cats
They like to curl up in my lap and
Fill my house with poo and
Make it smell like a zoo!

And its a perfect day
Its a perfect day!

Oh its a perfect day for punching kids
They run around and up and down and
Cost you lots of dough
And when your old they let you go!

And its a perfect day for punching snails
They leave these slimy little trails and
And crawl across my lawn
Pour some salt and then they're gone!

Its a perfect Day!
Its a Perfect Day!

If you can help me out, have a question, or want me to stop saying this at the end of every post, let me know via:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Byes.

It's Getting Hot Out Here

2009-07-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

Spiky Plant = Good for Burn?

So it's summer. You know what that means? That means barbecues, parties, and the summer job at Arby's*. With the temperature increasing, people are more likely to not wear think clothing such as a scarf, or a wool hat. In addition to this phenomenon, it appears that a majority of people like sunshine, meaning they are spending more time outdoors.

*Or in my case, going door to door asking people if they want to switch from Comcast to Dish Network. Boy, do I have stories for you.

However, if you are much like me growing up, playing outside hasn't had such a huge appeal as it has to the other neighborhood kids. Sure, I'll participate in the neighborhood water fight, and capture the flag was always fun, but why play basketball? After all it takes so much effort. I mean, running around while bouncing a ball while making sure the other kids maintain a good distance from your personal bubble while trying to accurately throw the ball into a hoop ten feet high and only about a foot and a half in diameter. Why do that when I have the physically effortless and visually appealing Gamecube to play?

Or course, the mother would always want me to play outside and get plenty or exercise so that I won't be part of the obesity statistic in America, which seemed to have worked well, considering I'm eighteen and only one hundred and seventy-five pounds. The funny part, however, is that I avoided outside time as much as possible, because like my Irish forefathers, I sunburn easily. Too easily to be taken lightly.

Those close to me will know this story vividly. When I was about eleven or twelve years of age, my dear parents left on a cruise to Hawaii, leaving me in the care of my best friend and her family for those few weeks. Near the end of my stay, we went on a hike which ended at the great Folsom Lake. Being a naive and ignorant child I was, I decided to swim. Without sunscreen. For six hours. You know what comes next?

I felt the burn on my back and shoulders begin to form the first couple minutes and hours of being out of the lake. I hoped it would go down after a couple of days, after all sleeping became a hassle as well as wearing a shirt. And while pink Starbursts are the best of the bunch, pink people are not the same, especially when you are the pink person.

The next couple weeks were absolutely miserable. They consisted of the Emergency Room, blisters, gauze pads, and Luigi's Mansion for the Gamecube. It did not consist of comfort, pride, or shirts. It was the second worst summer experience I have ever had, the first being my experiences at Jack in the Box, which is another blog for another day.

Ever since that horrible and traumatic two weeks of my life, I have been an entirely different person in regards to my involvement with the Sun. For example, I now never swim shirtless if I can help it, unless the sun is already down. In addition, I keep my body at a state within the shade as much as possible, and when I can, I keep a nice even coating of sunblock with the highest amount of SPF possible. And, of course, I spend as much time indoors playing video games or being online as I can. Better safe than sorry, right?

That being said, I made it a goal this summer that I would not be sunburned at all. How is going? I failed already. On a rafting trip I just took, I made sure to apply liberally to any place that could be sunburned. Somehow, my knees received the solar wrath I know too well. The part that especially stinks is that I still had sunscreen there.

In conclusion, staying inside is good for kids.

Any sunburn stories? Questions about anything? Free money? Let me know at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

I Don't Like Some People

2009-06-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

This is a rant done on my brother's digital camera.

If I seem tired, it's because I am. I got home at about 4:00 this morning after seeing the midnight premier, and was woken up early this morning by my mom to go look for jobs.

Email:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Rollout

Facebook Status Journal: The Two Towers

2009-06-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

They're taking the hobbits to Malaysia.

Here are some more Facebook status updates.

Nintendood PDA: Keep it to yourself! Nobody wants to see!

Nintendood took the quiz "Do You Like Quizzes?" and the answer was No.

Nintendood all I wanted was a megaslush! Just ONE megaslush, but you wouldn't let me have it!

Nintendood is looking at you with lazer vision.

Nintendood finds it silly when people talk back and forth through status updates.

Nintendood is waiting in line for the midnight release of Halo Kart.

Nintendood never thought he'd see the day when he borrowed Twilight from Doofurd.

Nintendood : Ninjas HAVE taken over the world. This is just the way they like it.

Nintendood whats a bean feast?

Nintendood the real question is, what WOULDN'T I do for a Klondike bar!?

Nintendood loves being better at Pokemon than Japanese people.

Nintendood : if at first you don't succeed, that means you FAILED.

Nintendood has 10$. You want it? what will you give me for it?

Nintendood feels bad for Stacy's dad.

Nintendood enjoys being better than you.

Nintendood was always loveable, but is now textable.

Nintendood's status update is different from yours.

Nintendood isn't going to write about the storms in his status update.

Nintendood is confused with his senior class. We're not done with high school. We still have two award ceremonies to go.

Nintendood is the best thing that happened since Avatar.

Nintendood how can I decide between being a fan of Summer and Summer Time?

Nintendood when you say you feel crabby, does that mean you feel crustacean-like?

Nintendood when life gives you lemons, sell em. Times are tough after all.

Nintendood always thought Emma Watson was a cutie.

Nintendood got Truman Capps to dance. No joke.

Nintendood : Leadership. Integrity

Nintendood it's a sad day when you get 11 notifications, all of them being quiz invites.

Nintendood wanted to go to Tashi station to get some power converters.

Nintendood om nom nom nom.

Nintendood likes Stacy more than her mom.

Nintendood never burned ants with a magnifying glass as a kid. Not that I was sympathetic toward the ants, but because I never owned a magnifying glass.

Nintendood slept while listening to Metal. I had some pretty epic dreams.

Nintendood doesn't ask "how high?" when told to jump. What a waste of time.

Nintendood just got off the phone with George Lucas. He says he's sorry.

Nintendood believes it's not butter.

Nintendood is disappointed in Salem for not having one bookstore with a copy a Cat's Cradle.

Nintendood created the black monolith.

Nintendood colon parenthesis.

Nintendood caught a legendary Pokemon with a great ball. Pwnage.

I Apologize for not having a "real" update yet. In my defense, I still haven't had a single person send me any questions, discussion topics, or anything of the sort to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Game over.

Epic Nostalgia

2009-06-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

Good times.

In case you haven't noticed, the people in Hollywood are still filthy rich. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's definitely inconsistent with the quality of their work. I mean, if crap like Twilight can generate over $382 million and be awarded Best Movie by MTV, somebody in the industry must be cheating. After all, the movie was a complete joke, only made bearable to watch with the help of Mike Nelson. Why do movies like this get so much praise?

Let's be honest with ourselves. The people who praise movies like this aren't movie people. Mostly, they are people who have read the books, who are typically teenage girls and in some bad cases, grown women*. The reason they think films like this have any credibility is because they know the material. Nothing new here to try and grasp. For the most part, this seems to be Hollywood's most effective tactic. After all, movies with original stories such as Taken, however entertaining they may be, can only obtain about half the revenue that Twilight can. Thus we see two things happening. Selling out to the big man remains in full force, and word-of-mouth advertising is being abandoned.

*Grown MARRIED women. I may not be married, but this much I know. Husbands absolute love it when their wives aren't obsessing over a fictional seventeen year old VamMeyer. They also love it when their wives play Mario Kart with them, but that's different.

The movie industry is fading as far as making good, quality, original ideas goes. Sure Star Trek was good enough for me to go see three times, I'll probably wait in line for the midnight showing of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and I think it would be awesome if Megas XLR was turned into a movie, but they are still just remakes. That seems to be all it is nowadays. Remakes, sequels, and adaptations of books and old TV shows.

The scary part is, I think I might be part of that audience. While I haven't paid any money for it, I have found myself over the past few months searching for remakes of things I experienced as a kid. What I found was awesome, but again, it wasn't original.

However, I still want art to come back. I want to watch a movie for the sake of film, not nostalgia. Remember Citizen Kane? Remember Dr. Strangelove? Remember Star Wars?

Anyways, here's some of the stuff I found. Most of it is geeky, but what did you expect? High School Musical?

Got any cool videos, or anything else? Send it all to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Now go get a job.

Our Cruiser's Can't Repel Firepower of that Magnitude!

2009-06-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see him, I feel bad for all the pet fish that died from my neglecting to feed them.

Contrary to the title of this post, this blog post will have almost nothing to do with rebellion, blowing up space stations, or legions of spaceships commanded by a talking fish. This is, again, another post about how facebook is slowly, and surely, creeping into the place I don't want it to go to.

Remember what I said last time when talking about motion control in video games, and how everyone is jumping onto the bandwagon because Nintendo came out with a game play concept that has attracted more users than anybody could have ever predicted? Unfortunately, this is nothing like that. The cool part about other developers developing motion control is, of course, cool opportunities for cool games to be released.

However, what makes this different in this circumstance as opposed to the gaming industry is that Facebook isn't taking a good idea from someone else. Instead, it's taking a bad idea from someone else. And this particular someone isn't Biff, and it isn't a VamMeyer, but instead our long time nemesis, Myspace.

Myspace, for those of you who are new to blog, is a particular entity that I loath and despise. It was the father of the brilliant "top friends" system, the less than necessary "applications" and many other factors that have slowly creeped into the haven of online socializing, Facebook. So, what is it this time?

It may not seem like a huge deal, but Facebook is now going to have the option of having a user name, like Nintendood or Xxsaucygirl34xX. This may seem cool on the surface. After all, being able to have as many options as possible is a good thing right? WRONG. Think about it.

Myspace is evil. Pure evil. Myspace allows people to use their user names instead of real names, for more "customization". What does this mean? This means that it is easy to be able to say that you are someone else. Not just easy, but almost inviting. What does this mean? This means that people will be lying on the Internet. While this isn't a new phenomenon, with online socializing, it leads to two absolutely horrible things: online pedophiles, and teenagers who think they are cool and original. While the second is mostly just annoying, both are some of the main reasons I left Myspace for Facebook.

Let this be a lesson for everybody in the world. If your going to sell out to the big man, make sure its in a way that doesn't totally suck.

Any question, comments, or funny/awesome links, send them all to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Bye now.

Electronically Exagerated Explanation Returns

2009-06-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

I wont lie. Whoever is playing this is a total n00b.

Good morning/evening/afternoon. I'm sorry that blog updates have been progressively less frequent. However, my schedule is about to free up immensely soon, giving me more time to think, thus more blog entries every 4 to 5 days. Good, no?

Last year, here at Eel Sushi, I offered my thoughts and impression of E3 2008. Considering the exact same event is happening this very week, allow me to provide you with my thought and impressions of E3 2009.

Before viewing the event, I didn't have much of an idea of what to expect. While there were things i certainly hoped to see, I wasn't sure what would be revealed. However, what was revealed surprised me, in good and bad ways. I was hoping we might have some word on the next lineup of console systems for each of the major developers, but I'm sorry to report this isn't the case. However, overall, it was a better presentation then last year.

Microsoft: Seeing as I don't own an Xbox 360, nor do I have any current plans to purchase one, it's evident that I wasn't extremely curious about what would be released. Therefore, what was shown in the press conference caught me completely off guard, something not so easily done considering how prominent gamers are to spoil everything online.

Games that were announced include some more details about The Beatles version of Rock Band and, for the most part, games based on violence. The coolest of these that i saw were continuations of the Halo series with Halo ODST, and announcing that Halo: Reach is in development. These look the same as the previous Halo games, but take places in different parts of the story. In addition, Metal Gear Solid: Rising was announced, starring a fan favorite Raiden, and adding yet another franchise that we all thought was a PS3 exclusive to the stash that Microsoft has eaten up. While I have never actually played any Metal Gear games myself, I can tell this is a big deal due to the fan response in the audience at the time the preview was shown.

Xbox 360 also now has Facebook, Twitter, and live TV, as well as satellite radio to boast about with its nifty online service.

However, the big thing that Microsoft was stressing was it's newest gimmick. Codenamed Natal, it's basically an Eye Toy for the Xbox. It consists of a camera and a microphone. It's function to to make it to that no controllers are required to operate the Xbox, which is all fun, but I am highly skeptical that they can even pull it off.

Have you ever had something really cool that you started doing? I once started playing Dungeons and Dragons with my good friends Trevor and Elliot. We weren't certain about the rules* so we usually just did whatever we wanted, and it was amazing fun. Another friend of mine heard about it, who we will call Biff, and decided to join in, which was cool cause we got more players. However, then things started to change. Don't worry, there is a point to this.

*Our only source of guidance was a 'Dungeons and Dragons for Dummies" book, which apparently proves that we are dumber than dummies considering we didn't apply anything in the book except that we needed special dice.

For one, we kept switching dungeon masters, because everyone who played had their own stories that they wanted us to experience. Eventually, Elliot stopped playing, either because he stopped getting invited or he lost interest, which totally killed the mood he set. Finally, some people were invited that I, personally, could not stand, making it an almost stressful experience. Thus, taking the fun experience I once had, and having it turned into something lame because of some "new ideas" from Biff.

Microsoft, to me, the the game industries Biff. In this instance, Dungeons and Dragons is motion control. Someone has a cool idea, and Biff comes by to try and improve the system, but ironically makes it worse. The problem I see with this Natal is that how unreliable it seems. Sure, it looked cool in the videos they shown, but those were performed by actors. You know how actors do things so well? They practice over and over and over again. It seems to good to be true, so I suppose I'll have to see it for myself. Until then, I will be extremely skeptical, and bitter towards the Biffs of the world.

Not to mention, this takes what the Wii was doing and blew it to ridiculous proportions. If you watch the video, the girl doing the demonstration looks like she has a horrid case of turrets, and the activities look like they would be fun for a good half hour before your body couldn't take it anymore. But hey, if it widens your audience, more power to ya.

Does this sound familiar? This is exactly what people are saying about Nintendo. I've heard over and over that Nintendo has forsaken the hardcore. Guess what? Looks like Microsoft is going down the same path. This being said though, I hope not. It would be awesome if it worked as flawlessly as they make it out.

Nintendo: Good ol' Nintendo. I must say that they pulled off a way better show this year than last year. After all, they made no promises, such as "hardcore gamers will be pleased", that could be left unfulfilled. It turns out, however, that this was the year that hardcore fans would be pleased. I was.

Nintendo showed off some nifty titles for the Wii and the Nintendo DS. Wii titles include New Super Mario Bros. Wii , Super Mario Galaxy 2 , and Metroid: Other M, which I am the most excited for. All of these are titles that would have been a huge hit last year, and make hardcore gamers realize that Nintendo hasn't forsaken them. Cool DS Titles include RPG's, like Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story, Golden Sun DS, and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, as well as The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. All of these sound fun, nostalgic, and most of all, worth the wait.

In addition, some cool new stuff about the DSi was revealed. Warioware DIY looks pretty fun. After all, making your own game in five minutes flat is something I've always dreamed of.

As Far as hardware goes, Nintendo showed off some cool old stuff, and some....interesting new stuff. The Wii Motion Plus was expounded on, as well as Wii Sports Resort. The Archery portion of the game looks sweet, as well as skydiving. However, still no word on any light saber games with the Wii Motion Plus.

And then Nintendo did something unexpected, and in my opinion, completely unwanted. The Wii Vitality Sensor is a little attachment to the Wiimote that clips on the finger and check our pulse and life signs.

This isn't a joke. this is seriously what it does. Need proof?

Do you see it? It checks your vitals. That's not even the best part about this. The best part is that Nintendo Hasn't announced what kind of games it's going to be used with, nor any insight into it's practicality. I know that games are getting more and more realistic, but think is definitely taking it a bit too far. This coming from a Nintendo fanboy.

Again, I'll have to see it before I stop being skeptical.

One final thing from Nintendo. Apparently, they are working on a new Zelda title for the Wii, much like Twilight Princess. That, my friend, is exciting.

Sony: I was also impressed by Sony's presentation. However, this isn't really saying much considering that last year's show was total crap, thus setting my expectations exceedingly low. I will be honest though, it wasn't a bad show. Some cool stuff was shown off.

Obviously the biggest announcement is the unveiling of the successor to the PSP*, which they call the PSP Go. This handheld look a lot nicer than the original, with its sleek design that hides those pesky buttons using the sliding-type interface found on cell phones every now and again. A cool Metal Gear game was announced for it called Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, which brings the awesome game I barely know to a handheld.

*They say that the original PSP won;t be replaced the the PSP Go. I doubt that. After all, Nintendo originally said that the Nintendo DS wouldn't replace the Gameboy. Have you seen Gameboys for sale recently? Didn't think so.

The presentation went great, until they showed off their own form of motion detection. Its a motion sensitive remote that is held with one hand that mimics the actions made with it onto the screen. Sound familiar? It should, because it;s exactly what Nintendo did with the Wii. The difference here? They put a big glowing ball on the tip of it.

Now, this I honestly have no problem with. After all, where would Sony be right now if they hadn't taken the analog stick that was perfected and adapted in the Nintendo 64? What i found pathetically hilarious, however, is how they kept saying it was a "revolution". I'm not sure who they are trying to kid. Revolutions are NEW ideas brought into the world. It's not a revolution if it's already been done. Not quite Biff, but close.

Remember, this is where hardcore gamers feel abandoned, is when the big guys start making stuff that "everyone can just pick up and play". I swear, I heard that phrase maybe 20 times per presentation.

Another thing I should point out is when they boasted about their online networking service, Home. In it they showed a video where a man dressed in edgy clothing, black rock star hair, and walked suspiciously turned out to be a preppy and stylistic guy online. To me, this just reeks of online pedophiles on their network. Nice going Sony.

**this ends the individual reviews**

Overall, I thought it was a good E3. Some cool games to be excited for, some new hardware to be skeptical about, and a good insight into the direction of the industry. If you wondering where that it, the vibe i got was:

"We have so much money we can do whatever we want. Take it or leave it."

If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, send it all to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Oh, and did I mention I get my high school diploma tomorrow?

Flying Babies in Space

2009-05-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

And you thought THAT movie was weird.

The following is my interpretations of the film 2001: A Space Odyssey, which i had to write for my English class. If you haven't seen the film, I would encourage it. Be warned though, there are times that are extremely boring.

After first watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, my first impulse was to either disregard it, passing off the last events as a drug trip from the producer, however unlikely, or to promptly look up the explanations on Wikipedia. After all, what sense can be made from the magic rectangle from outer space? And what about the strange sequence of colors that resemble the graphics on Windows Media Player? Above all, why do the producers find it acceptable to have a human fetus floating in outer space? Hopefully, my experience of developing insightful theories, which I honed after watching five seasons of Lost (a show I still don’t understand), will be able to sufficiently interpret these strange symbols, as well as explain what they do as far as the story.

Obviously, the most mysterious aspect of the film is the black monoliths, strange celestial rectangular prisms that appear every now and again. It would appear that these artifacts hold some type of supernatural ability to advance, or evolve, the mind of one who engages it. The apes, presumably the ancestors of mankind, were able to invent the tool out of the bones of a deceased animal after having contact with the monolith, thus allowing them to gain dominance over the opposing ape gang with the use of excessive blunt force trauma. Additionally, they learned to use this power to hunt beasts and eat meat.

The black monolith is obviously of another world, thus being created by aliens. It could be possible that this alien race was very highly advanced, yet somehow managed to get themselves extinct. In order to preserve the knowledge of their kind, they scattered these monoliths across the universe, much like the ring of power and Sauron. These monoliths contain knowledge and wisdom beyond humans, and when contact is made, the energy given off by the monoliths allows those exposed to begin their progression toward the state this extinct race found themselves in.

What exactly are these monoliths capable of? Well, as pointed out by *name removed in order to protect the innocent*, each has a dimensional ratio of 1:4:9, the squares of the first three integers. It extends into the first three dimensions that way, so it’s possible that they extend into the other dimensions (possibly space and time) is a similar fashion. They are able to give the mind the push required to advance, as seen with the apes. It has the ability to connect with the other monoliths somehow, using some form of radio signals or electromagnetism. Judging by the strange events happening to Dave during contact, it seems like the monolith can create a warp through space, and judging by how he was eventually able to see himself as an old man and the a human fetus, time warping as well. Possibly, after further investigation, the monolith may also be able to break the fourth wall.

While the giant space fetus may seem to contradict this notion of evolution via black monolith, perhaps the monolith was evolving Dave. Perhaps humans, in this reality, have their next step as being a celestial infant. Perhaps once the fetus is born, it will be an entirely new creature all together, and more intelligent and far superior to humans in every way, all thanks to what the monolith has done.

Any questions, comments, or hate mail? Send it all to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Over and out.

Facebook Status Journal: A New Hope

2009-05-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

Its unrelated, but still awesome.

Here is a small segment of the blog where I will list my Facebook statuses, in case you missed one.

Nintendood sirraH nesneJ madA.

Nintendood as if childhood obesity was bad enough, Ronald McDonald is now putting Kidz Bop into the hands of children. This next generation is screwed.

Nintendood always pretends that he opens automatic doors with the force.

Nintendood the Abominable.

Nintendood is actively falling in quicksand.

Nintendood slew the hydra and obtained the golden fleece, and looked good doing it.

Nintendood was a geek before it was cool.

Nintendood is like a peach. He's sweet yet hardcore.

Nintendood used to break the fourth wall, but then they fixed it with duct tape.

Nintendood looked into the light, and got the weird purple/green spots in his vision. See? It pays to be pessimistic.

Nintendood slew the dragon, but lost a thumb in the process. Dang.

Nintendood is what he eats, and he eats epic.

Nintendood wrote the greatest song in the world. Not just the tribute.

Nintendood: if I cared about your opinion, you'd have a television show.

Nintendood has an epic idea involving a hair dryer and thermal vision goggles.

Nintendood finds it amusing that an epidemic has become a popular punchline.

Nintendood of the funk.

Nintendood has become Indestructible. Determination that is Incorruptible.

Nintendood doesn't wanna be an Oregonian idiot.

Nintendood it takes more muscles to frown then to smile. But it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Nintendood can't juggle. And you know what? Neither can you!

Nintendood played the Yu-Gi-Oh drinking game, which is one drink every time they mention friendship.

Nintendood is a barbarian, which is just a librarian who also cuts hair.

Nintendood's name is on the top ten most wanted (by women) list.

Nintendood :today is a bad day for me to construct a nuclear warhead. Maybe tomorrow then.

Nintendood beat destiny itself in a staring contest.

Nintendood says that everything tastes better through a straw, except M&M's.

Nintendood typed this entire status update with his mind.

Nintendood doesn't like being woken up 30 seconds before his alarm goes off.

Nintendood doesn't have any money. So he can't screw the rules.

Nintendood doesn't understand why he is receiving invites for these quizzes. Quizzes remind me of school, and school is lame.

Nintendood needs some hair for a voodoo project. Any volunteers?

Nintendood doesn't play by the rules, and vice versa.

Nintendood knows what you did.

Nintendood 's favorite drummer's name is Jukka. Who's yours?

Nintendood just got out of the shower...at midnight...

Nintendood did a barrel roll.

Nintendood's status has nothing to do with Easter or Prom.

Nintendood summons his status, in attack mode!

Any question? What about Concerns? Something you want me to talk about? Tell me at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Now, fly you fools.

Money

2009-05-09T17:28:00.000-07:00

Same thing, basically.

The need for currency in this country has always been appreciated by most, especially bums. It seems, however, that while everybody knows that they need money, they rarely know what to do with it. This leads to debt, which leads to loans, which leads to MORE debt, which leads to MORE loans. While this may seem obvious to you, judging by recent unemployment rates and the number of "Going out of Business" sales popping up everywhere, not everyone catches on as easily as you do.

Most 18-year-olds wouldn't affected that much about this economic crisis, save for the fact that finding a job is more difficult. To be completely honest, it didn't really affect me that much at all, until just recently.

For instance, my favorite local meatery had to give in to the economic crappiness. Buster's Texas Style Barbecue, a self proclaimed vegetarian's worst nightmare, used to be located right next to Subway, on Commercial Street. That was a place my dad used to always take me and my brothers, as kind of a man's-night-out deal. But you know what happened? America happened, and it had to leave Salem and join its brothers and sisters in the abyss full of businesses that died, like Circuit City.

I mean, seriously. If a company as big as Circuit City goes down the drain, it's obvious that someone, somewhere, screwed up big time. Sure we still have Best Buy, but I never thought the day would come when I can tell my kids "When i was your age, Best Buy had two competitors, Circuit City, and Fry's. Now it only has one*". The only thing that makes me feel older is that the original Pokemon TV show is now on Boomerang.

*Yeah, this is probably what my conversations are going to be like with my kids. And they will all have names from Greek Mythology. Like Jason, and Odysseus.

Luckily, due to some hunting and lots of online surveys, it would appear that I have indeed found myself a job. Yesterday I had an interview at the local Hollywood Video, who was currently looking for a sales position who specializes in Video Games. Long story short, I NAILED that interview. So much that I was asked to come back for a second interview and was asked when I would be available for orientation. Eat that you stinking economy.

This is Nintendood, encouraging all teens who may be reading this to go out and find a job. You wont regret it, because money is tight right now, and if you want to pay for college, you better start saving up now, or making sure your rich uncle is really really old. Unfortunately for me, I have no rich uncle, nor any rick relatives for that matter, so I gotta pay for everything the hard way.

For any questions, good jokes, or discussion topics, e-mail them to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Money sucks.

The Oppisite of Low School

2009-04-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

See, this is what high school does to people.

For high schoolers, there's always something that gotta wreak havoc on our stressometers. Usually, this means homework, or lack of doing homework resulting in less than satisfactory grades, or going to work, or not having work resulting in lack of cash.

The month of May would more accurately be called the month of Mayhem. Being the penultimate month of the normal school year, this is typically when things get busy, unorganized, and tense. After all, we have to balance homework, studying for AP exams, and fulfilling the requirement of graduation so that we will be able to leave Sprague High School, never to return. On top of that, some of us can scarcely find time fit in time to play Pokemon Platinum.

At this point, senioritis has taken over even worse than swine flu*. Where would we be without the famous quotes such as "I'll do it in my first period/lunch..." or "it's only a ten point assignment. I can skip it just this once..." Unfortunately, as it turns out, this is easier to pull off when you only have about five classes. For people with eight classes, well, the system tends to be far less forgiving.

*You know I never even heard about swine flu until xkcd? My theory is that it's a disease that will go through every member of the Chinese zodiac. Imagine how epic Dragon Flu is going to be.

So, you're probably wondering if I have some type of magical remedy that serves as a good way to relieve stress. Fortunately, I actually have two.

The first is a physical treatment that will help you calm yourself down. This may sound strange, but when your feeling stressed out about something, pay attention to your feet. If they feel warm, soak them in cold water. This could be in the bathroom sink, the bathroom bathtub, or the bathroom bucket-full-of-cold-water. This will stop the hot feet, and will help relax your body. This works for me, let me know if it works for you.

The second in a mental exercise that, believe it or not, you've already heard. Just do your homework. It's that simple. Think about it, you spend most of your day on facebook or reading every entry of Eel Sushi, but what if you stepped away from facebook at around six o'clock and did your homework? You could be done in a few hours, and you would still have some good time to get your daily recreation from the computer, without having the stress of incompletion on your mind all the time. Crazy, I know, but you know what? Everyone thought Galileo was crazy at first.

My fellow Americans, I wish you the best of luck during these pressuring times. May none of you get Snake Flu.

IF you have any other useful stress relief tactics, questions, or discussion topics, e-mail them to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

I know this post wasn't particularly funny. But if you want funny, may I suggest the following link:

FUNNY

The Latest from Hollywood

2009-04-13T17:33:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I made this.

As a kid growing up, I never had the opportunity to participate in many of the thing other children my age did. Things such as frosted pop tarts and seeing Titanic were all but foreign to me. Of the things I was deprived of as a child, the one that I found myself mooching from the neighborhood kids was cable TV. Once I was there, I was in a magical place that had more than just ten channels. While as I look back, don't hold it against my parents, but for some odd reason, I feel as though I was deprived of one incredibly geeky show: Dragon Ball Z.

Now, I'll admit, most of the show is violence that is, for the most part, senseless. When I actually did get a chance to watch the show for myself, I found that good portion is spent charging the Kamehameha, or lazerbeam-hands attack. However, i do have to give the show some credit, after all, it's not easy to get half of the entire anime fan base into your material. Any animeniac will tell you that there is a lot of crap out there, especially all the stuff created by Canada.

However, being the geek that I am, I felt a sense of duty to assert myself into seeing the American live action adaptation of Dragonball, the show that actually took place before Dragonball Z when the main character was a just a wee lad, yet somehow still strong enough to be able to take out an entire army of cyborgs. I'm not certain if that ever happens in the show, but I wouldn't be surprised.

To be completely honest, I was expecting this movie to be absolutely horrible for multiple reasons. One of them being that Hollywood has been getting into a bad habit of pumping out as much garbage as they can, labeling it as art, and wasting two hours of thousands of American's time. Another reason being that live-action adaptations of animated material usually fail to satisfy*. Another is that I barely know the storyline of the series, save for what I gathered from Dragonball Z: The Abridged series, which is one of many different Internet parodies of an anime show.

*I mean, come on, sure Street Fighter had some cool fight scenes, the script seemed to only manage complete sentences, and my friends and I could have pulled off better CGI than that. Because of this, I am a little nervous about the upcoming Avatar movie. Of you wanna go for a video game movie, go for what they did with Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children as seen in the flick above.

However, while the movie wasn't exactly in the same caliber of films such as Citizen Kane, it wasn't COMPLETELY awful. Granted, it didn't hold 100% true to the show, what with the main character being a whole ten years older, it wasn't grossly inaccurate, and it actually had some of the same feeling Dragonball did. I was expecting some better special effects, but the ones that were presented didn't upset me. The fight scenes weren't all that bad either.

Would I recommend seeing this movie? Like most movie adaptations of popular franchises, i would have to say Yes, but only if you are into that sort of thing. Whether it be cheesy kung fu movies or the Dragonball series.

If you have any questions, comments, good jokes, or hate mail, don't forget to send it all to:

celebino251@hotmail.com.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes thirty episodes.

About Pocket Monsters

2009-03-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

Seriously, what the heck does it say?

Third grade. The realm of utter insecurity, the beginning of the baggy-jeans fad, and N*SYNC wannabes wherever you go. For people my age however, these things were lost amongst the craze that had been sweeping Japan for a few months already and finally reached it's way onto American shores. The Plague we know today as Pokemon.

Elementary school was usually a time where the "new cool thing" would take control of our half-developed brains. From Pogs to Power Rangers, there was always that one thing that everybody had in common. It is no secret, however that Pokemon was the one craze that if you didn't participate in, you had no childhood.

In my book, those were the best times of my childhood. My binder full of cards and empty sleeves calling for a Ninetales or a Zapdos, the other ones willing to offer themselves for such a prize. Seriously, I brought those things everywhere. Even on vacation, if we went camping, we would ask the other kids around the camp if they had Pokemon cards, and if they did, BAM. It was constant "What do you have!?" and "Do you want a Metapod!?" and "Hey, its two commons for an uncommon!" While it can be debated whether or not this was beneficial to my communication or bartering skills, it was definitely a memorable period of my early existence.

Ten years later, and most people have lost interest in the franchise. To be completely honest, I don't blame them. After all, at first, there were only 150 varieties of Pocket Monsters (unless you count Mew and Togepi). Now, there are 493 known types of Pokemon. While this number is overwhelming to begin with, considering there are probably four different cards for each one, collecting the cards had been exposed for being a money grabbing scheme, and a pain to the wallets of parents. The only possible reason to buy the cards anymore is if you play the game in tournaments, which is silly enough considering that the game is totally lame and unexciting. In addition, the show has gone way downhill. All of the original voice actors are gone, and Ash keeps giving away his Pokemon. This isn't good TV, this is getting desperate.

However, there is still one are in which the franchise still stands strong (at least in my view). The video games, the original, portable video games, are by far the best thing about Pokemon. I beg to differ with anybody who claims that Pokemon would suck if it was real*, and those games were the closest thing to it. I won't lie when I say that those remain one of the main reasons I buy the portable game systems from Nintendo.

Here is a quick history lesson on the Pokemon games. Keep in mind, most of this will sound inhumane.

It all started with Red and Blue on the Game Boy. For the first time in history could someone pretend to go around and catch the adorable little monsters and force them to beat the crap out of each other. Them, it went to Gold and Silver on the Game Boy color. Now you could do the exact same thing, only in color, with 100 new Pokemon, and they added the Day and Night changers with an internal clock, meaning that nocturnal Pokemon were actually Nocturnal in the game. They also gave Pokemon genders, so that forced breeding was a possibility. Ruby and Sapphire were next in line on the Game Boy Advance, which along with even MORE Pokemon and better visuals, along with two on two battles. And, uhh, that's about it. Diamond and Pearl was the set that appeared on the Nintendo DS, adding so many new features, it almost made my mind explode. Not only are there now 493 different Pokemon to catch, but there are tons on online features, contests, wireless features, etc.

So, while the rest of the world has fun with going to the beach and California, I'll be enjoying my spring break playing Pokemon Platinum version for the Nintendo DS.

Got any questions, please e-mail them to my Pokemon-themed address that i have had since 4th grade:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Gotta Catch em all!

Focusing on What's Important

2009-03-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

Look, we can worry all we want about the economy, or about how good our grades are, or any of those things. However, reality has to kick in, where we as Americans, and human beings, need to focus on the important things in life. Focusing on the priorities has been a problem in this nation for years, but it's not too late to change that.

We all know that it's only a matter of time before this world of ours ends. Eventually, it's not going to matter how much money you made or how big your comic book collection, nor will it be important who got elected into public office. Once the zombies take over the world, everything else will be set aside. In that environment, it's live or, die, and one must do whatever they can to get out alive and well.

There are three key thing everyone is going to need once the Zombacolypse hits earth and the sun turns red. Food, shelter, and security. Without these, you are sure to become a zombie, or get mauled by one.

The first is food, or other edible substances of which you can receive nutrition and satisfaction. In a zombie world, people wont be able to just go to the supermarket or fast-food restaurant when they are hungry and need food, because at that point the zombies will be everywhere, and you could very well be attacked by a hoard or brain-craving, undead retards*. There a few ways to get around this, however. The first thing you can do is to start stocking up food now. Luckily, due to the fact that I am very Mormon, I already have a good two weeks of canned food in my pantry. Canned foods and granola bars are a good idea. It's also a good idea to make sure you have some good comfort food in their like pudding or kettle chips, because believe me, you will be depressed. Make sure you remember the can opener. Also remember, it's way better to be overprepared than underprepared.

*We can hope that these zombies aren't anything like the ones from the movie I Am Legend starring Wil Smith, who for some reason are depicted as being efficient and somewhat intelligent. I doubt this though, because real zombies wonder around moaning and saying "braaaaaiiins" over and over again.

The second thing everyone needs is shelter. No longer is roof and four walls going to be enough, because most houses are made with windows. If i am not mistaken, windows are made of glass. Ad I'm sure all of you know, almost any human can break a glass window easily, provided they have strong bones and haven't had their arms severed off. What this means is that during the Zombacolypse, every needs to flee their homes and head for somewhere better built. Bomb shelters, bank vaults, or Locker rooms might work, as long as there are no windows and thick walls. When selecting a good spot to stay during a Zombacolypse, it's important to also make sure you have several planned routes to get their in case the way you usually go is full of the legions of the undead. It's also much easier if the place is close to your house.

The last thing is security. This means raw firepower or significant blunt force trauma. Anything that could kill a zombie if it made it to your shelter. This means that while you still can, go out and buy a gun of some kind. Shotguns are preferred. If you're not into the whole gun thing, swords or crowbars are also a good idea. Whatever you do, you need to make sure that you take out the brain of a Zombie. Simply removing it's legs or arms won;t stop it, for they don't really feel pain. The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain. While this will make you a bloody mess, at least you will stay alive.

To be completely honest, I hope that you already know this information. The sad truth is that the American youth are being uneducated on what to do when this impending calamity arises. This why I call everyone within reach of this blog to be prepared, and if you have children, take some time to talk with them about what they will do in case you get infected with the zombie-virus and try to eat them.

Eventually, I hope the American school systems will wise up and offer Zombie Preparation courses in public schools.

If you have any questions or discussion topics, feel free to ask at:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Good Luck to you all.

Being a Twin 101

2009-02-26T16:40:00.000-08:00

"I'm Really excited to be here."

Hello class, and welcome to Being A Twin 101. I will be your instructor for this course. My name is Mr. Nintendood. But you can just call me Mr. Supreme Overlord Sir. Please take out some writing materials or a laptop if you wish to take notes, because anything I say is fair game for the final exam. Be advised, there are no cell phones, radioactive materials, or the Jonas Brothers allowed in this classroom during the time I am paid to teach. Now let us begin.

Being a Twin. Where to begin? The study of having someone who just happened to be spawned from the same womb as you at a closer then a nine-month interval, who also shares many of the same genes as you. Let us start from the beginning.

As a twin, when you are born, things will be pretty fricken awesome for awhile. You and the other one will be pretty tight considering you are the only ones currently experiencing things such as learning how to use the potato-sized brain you were just recently given. With it, the two of you will be equally expected to find out how to understand whatever nonsense your parents are saying to each other (in my case, half of it was Spanish, so you guys are getting it way easy). However, in time, this will eventually become a contest between the two of you. Who learns how to talk first, who learns how to properly use their bowels first, etc. This trend will stay with you for most of your life, such as who gets his driver's licence first and whatnot.

Raise your hand if you were born first. Okay, now raise your hand if you were born second. Hey, you in the 3rd row, why didn't you raise your hand?

Guy: "Um, I'm not a twin. I thought this was art class."

What are you doing here!? Get out! You need pre-recs for this!

Anyways, you guys who said you were second. This next section is for you. The nature of this goes as follows. As long as you are still young, you will always get everything AFTER your twin. It's just how things work, unfortunately. Get used to the lines "I was born first" "I'm the oldest" and the worst of them all "I have the birthright". These lines are usually applied to ridiculous circumstances, like who gets the last Pop Tart, or who gets to ride shotgun. One could always try the "How do you know we didn't get switched?" line, but your elder twin will be about as relentless as Hillary Clinton.

This a part that only applies to those of who who have twins of the same gender as you, however, it may be on the final, so you might as well listen up even if that's not the case. Your entire life, especially in school, your identity will always be linked to the other twin. This is not to say that you are going to share an identity, but this DOES mean that the two of you will be compared and, especially if your identical, people will confuse your names. You could be total opposites, which may very well be the case once you reach high school, but people will always compare the two of you. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people call me Kyle, or have had people say to me "You and your brother are nothing alike. Isn't that weird with you being twins and all?". Unfortunately, the best advice I have for situations like this, just get used to it. Sorry guys.

Well, looks like that's all the time for today. The homework assignment is posted on the web page, and you had better not procrastinate because it WILL take you about seven hours to complete.

If you have any questions or things you would like to discuss, the email is:

celebino251@hotmail.com

Class dismissed.

Must be 18 Years or Older to Call

2009-02-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

"But wait! Call right now and I'll throw in my own children!"

Yeah, I know it's been awhile. But, hey, that's not entirely my fault. I don't want to put the blame on anybody here, but I would like to point out that I would be having more frequent posts if people would send me questions or discussion topic via e-mail, like I said would happen in my last post. Again, that address is:

celebino251@hotmail.com

There is a time when the imagination runs low on juice, so I need ideas. It would be greatly appreciated, and well worth your while.

For those of you who are curious, here is what you missed the last few weeks.

I am now old enough to:
-Buy and smoke cigarettes.
-Buy and play lottery tickets.
-Buy and never use infomercial products (ShamWOW!)
-Buy and regret tattoos.
-Buy and burn adult shop materials.
-Vote in political affairs.
-Join the Army, Navy, Marines, Navy Seals, Air Force.
-Get a job in electronics stores.
-See R rated movies (in Salem).
-Elope a woman of 18 years or older.
-Get a credit card.
-Sign my own papers.

That's right. I am now 18. This may be a surprise to those who don't know me. In fact, if we have never met, you may have thought that I was much older. Or at least, you didn't think that a minor was blogging this whole time. Maybe a college student perhaps? Or a rebel leader? Velociraptor?

My friends usually ask me if I feel any different than before. I do not. To be honest, I've never felt different after a birthday before. Although all of these things are now legally optional for me, I don't feel like a different person. Just the same guy after another birthday.

If birthdays are supposed to make people feel different, what am I missing out on? Every year am I supposed to suddenly change form being geeky guy with too much time on his hands as well as a strange fascination with pickles on crackers to being a shy person who likes to bowl every weekend?

Well, things are going to be changing in my life soon enough. By the end of the year, I will be going to college for the first time. That should be fun stuff. By that time, I'm also certain that my blog entries will increase tenfold in interesting-ness. After all, that's when all the interesting stuff happens to your life.

Alright my viewers. I'm counting on you to send in your e-mails.

Questions and Groundhogs

2009-02-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

"Just let me take a freaking NAP!"

Check out this e-mail I received:

for those who can't read it (like me) it says:

Hello,

I'm the webmaster of http://www.eyefloaters.info
I wanted to know if by any chance you would be interested
in doing an unbiased review (in English language) of
our site http://www.eyefloaters.info on
your blog http://eelsushi.blogspot.com/

If you agree we will send you a
sample for the review.

Please let me know if you are
interested.

If you are interested please click here to
receive your sample:

(blah blah blah LINK blah blah blah)

Thank you

Now as flattered as I was to see that someone has seen my blog (even if it IS just junk mail) I had to decline.

However, it gave me an idea. Since bloggers have the unfortunate tendency to blank out when it time for a new update, I decided that if THEY thought they could pick someone's blog topic for them, why can't everybody?

So, I'm going to start something new here on Eel Sushi. In addition to my regular posts, I am going to have an Ask Nintendood type deal going on, where you, the readers, may ask me any question in e-mail form to:

celebino251@hotmail.com

It can be about my opinions, if you need some advice, or if you just have something you want me to discuss here on Eel Sushi.

If you happen to be reading this on the day that it was posted, either from having some trippy device that tells you when I update or if you check it every day just to be sure, I would just like to say Happy Groundhog day! If you care about the holiday, it would appear that the infamous groundhog decided to postpone spring for a good six weeks or so.

Now to be completely honest, I had forgotten about the holiday altogether until I was reminded by one of my teachers. In all reality, I'm not sure if the groundhog has that much influence of the Earth's rotary axis, or the Sun's temperature, or anything of the sort that would affect just how long winter really is. Or does it?

Could it be that the groundhog is some sort of Deity of the Spring season? If so, he's even lamer than I thought, for a God shouldn't be afraid of his own shadow, especially afraid enough to hide in a hole for a month and a half.

However, if he a divine rodent, this must mean that he is even more powerful than Demeter herself. Obviously, he is in control of when she gets her daughter Persephone back form Hades, cause her to have joy and letting the fruitful seasons prevail.

We as a people need to be rid of this tyrannical groundhog once and for all! Not only for the sake of the seasons, but also for the sake of having a holiday that is completely ridiculous and pointless.

That is all.

2009-01-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

Steve Jobs anyone?

Now as a relatively new blogger, I can't expect total strangers to be reading here as of yet, after all I've only been blogging for maybe six or seven months. I'm also not representing any huge organization nor am I endorsed by any large organization. At this point, I am expecting that my viewership is mostly my own friends and family. But if all has gone well, at least it will be a LOT of my friends and family.

Now if you are new here chances are that you heard from a friend or relative about just how awesome the Internet can still be, even with Myspace and Runescape floating around there. Another possibility is that you read my Facebook status regarding the this blog, and became curious, and were then hooked like a goldfish with a harpoon. It's also (hopefully) possibly that you clicked the "Next Blog" button at the top of the screen until you came to something interesting, and hopefully it was this one that caught your eye/eyes.

When I first started my blog, however, there was one question that people would ask me. Why of all things did you name your blog Eel Sushi? Why didn't you call it Nintendood's Blog or something? We need ANSWERS man!

When developing a blog it's important to create a name that is unique and generic to allow yourself the opportunity to talk about whatever you want. Unless you're not into that and you want to talk about books, than you would call it like "Nintendood's Food Blog" or video games, than you call it "Nintendood's Gamer Blog". How was I going to create a name that would allow me such variety?

I sat there at the computer for about a half an hour listening to various music on Pandora when I came to the perfect name ever. It was short, savory, and to the point.

Eel Sushi.

Who wouldn't stop at a blog page with a giant picture of the Japanese seafood? It's genius right?

Now you are probably wondering if I even like sushi or not, and the answer is oooooh yes. My favorite food even. If someone were to bring me a plate of sushi and some chopsticks, I would most likely follow them around until I saved their life. Which may be annoying, but at least I'll have saved your life.

There is a certain someone out there who is completely resistant to my love of the sushi. Now, while I am open to other people opinions, for sushi, I have to be persistent. For some reason, if someone says that they don't like sushi, I must always ask them of they have tried it or not. If they say yes, than that's fine, and I let them go on with their life.

However, there is always that person who, when asked if they like sushi will say no. Soon after i am informed that they have never even tried it. My response is usually very energetic and sometimes slightly violent.

I realized at that point that we have a problem in this nation. People have a tendency to base their opinions on other people's opinions, rather than their own experiences or facts. This is why the media has so much power.

In closing, I have this to say. If you like sushi, we are brothers. If not, try it for yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Oh, and by the way, the LOST premier was friggen aaaaawesome.

I need to stop posting blogs about the Internet.

PSA from Nintendood

2009-01-17T23:02:00.000-08:00

To my dear readers,

I know that it's been awhile since my last post and that you are all just dying from withdrawls, but I'm going to ask that you wait a bit longer.

This last week has been pretty hardcore on me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. My mind isn't at the capacity to sit down and write what I want. This may sound silly, but if you start a blog one day, you'll no what I mean.

Not to worry however. I promise that next week there will be a post so incredibly awesome that you may just need mouth to mouth after reading it, so I would recommend having a friend/lover/medic with you.

Until then, enjoy this picture.

Blogging About Blogging

2009-01-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

Everyone just wants attention. I chose a much safer alternative.

The blogging machine is a wondrous invention that is capable of bringing out the best, worst, and stupidest in people. The basic concept of blogging is that someone goes on to the Internet machine, and pray that people will post comments in order to recognize the fact that they exist on the Internet. They do this for maybe four or five posts, then get bored with it, or run out of interesting things to say, or simply forget, which is a shame, because I'm sure the Internet machine would work faster without all that wasted space.

Many people do this by posting a log about their life and things that they usually don't do, which results in a lack of consistent views. However, by doing this, you drastically decrease your chances being stalked by people you don't know over the blogging machine.

Then there are those who post blogs about serious topics, such as political stuff. These are helpful in the sense that it allows the viewers to express their views without immediate backlash from people which may happen with a spoken conversation. The downside is, this doesn't guarantee that no backlash will arrive, and it may in fact be returned in the evolved form, known as hate mail.

While I have never seen this personally, I have heard that these types of blogs show up, and frankly, they frighten me a little bit. They are described as blogs posted mostly by newlyweds who may or may not be very Mormon. Now, I have nothing against newlyweds, as I will soon be related to one. Likewise, I have nothing against Mormons, for I am one of thems. However, from what I hear, these are people who use the blog machine to constantly express time and time again just how blessed they are to be married. While there is nothing necessarily wrong with this, how can you expect to obtain the Holy Grail (which are many views and comments)?

Blogs are used for many purposes. That pretty much sums it up.

"Well gee, Mr. Supreme Overlord Sir, we already know what blogging is!"

If the topic upsets you, It might be fair to inform you that I was going to post a blog about my recent adventures in California and about my feelings towards both California and Oregon, some statements regarding sales tax and others regarding the overwhelming amount of adobe style architecture that is popping up everywhere down there. However, I ran into a minuscule, if not completely meaningless problem.

There a few blogs that I read, but my favorite of all of them is the one written by Internet celebrity/public access television celebrity/high school marching band-mate Truman Capps. His blog, Hair Guy, has been linked several times here on Eel Sushi. That's usually because before I blog, or when I'm bored, I will read Hair guy to see what this well respected geek from Salem has to say about things.

I recently noticed, however, that him and I tend to blog about the same things from time to time. And while this is flattering to me, and possibly to him, I felt that I want to avoid that as much as possible, because I don't want to look like I'm borrowing his ideas. It's a legitimate reason; His blogs are flaming brilliant.

Before I close, I just want to say that the Zune situation (Y2K9) is incredibly hilarious.

Super Mario Education!

2008-12-20T12:59:00.000-08:00

Gamers everywhere are embracing the cold.

A few things I would like to talk about before the 25th.

It snowed this week. While some people doubted the frozen precipitation would hit (and stick) to the ground of my northwestern residence, and some wished for it for nothing more than canceling the public education facilities, it came. Somehow or another, it came just the same*. As a gift, the snow brought us many a frozen roads, badly made snowmen, as well an enough snowball fights to give a Charmander frostbite, as well as discovering just how much my family needs a snow shovel and how most retailers were unable to provide one. Apparently, the only thing that has more demand for snow shovels this past week was the Wii (and after two years of being out to the public! Holy frick!).

* Does anybody know what this is from? if so, tell me.

I found probably the most incredibly ridiculous, yet awesome, thing at Goodwill yesterday. Now, every popular video game franchise has it's ups and downs and "!?!?" moments. Up moments include games such as Metroid Prime, down moments include games like Wii Play, and "!?!?" moments are like Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon (don't look into this game unless you want to sink down to 'lower than n00b' status).

What I found was this:

I bought the PC version for five bucks. Seriously, when you see something like that, you don't just pass it up. I'm not sure what inspired this game, but apparently, it's one of a whole series of educational Mario titles, such as "Mario is Missing!". I'm not sure which category to place it in.

It makes you think though. How long has Mario had his infamous time machine? If he has a time machine, why doesn't he just go back in time whenever Princess Peach gets herself captured and puts her somewhere else so that Bowser can't get his hands on her?

Something about this that has been bothering me is the cover itself. Looking at it we see some neato historical figures such as Abraham Lincoln, Amadeus Mozart, William Shakespeare, and Benjamin Franklin. Now everybody knows that these are good guys, but here's the problem, Mario lives in the mushroom kingdom. Since when does a man who is governed by Peach and a bunch of little Arabic midgets with mushroom on their heads care about the American political system, or British literature? Besides, Nintendo is a Japanese company.

Then again, Mario is Italian, and plumbers have been a big deal in recent political news. Mario, being an Italian immigrant to the Mushroom Kingdom, obviously must be invisible to the government systems of the planet, for, if you've noticed, the Mushroom Kingdom, or any Mario game for that matter, is never mentioned by political paranoia. Only games such as Grand Theft Auto and such are looked at by those guys. The government then has no idea that the Mushroom Kingdom is so prosperous, without economic plunges** or wars going on. This must mean that Mario is no doubt part of the mob. It all makes sense in my head.

**Who votes that we switch from the dollar to coins? I would be on board with that!

Anyways, I'll probably play it, since Game Crazy wouldn't take it, and let you know if the game is any good, even for being educational.

If I don't post till then, I would like to say Merry Christmas to my readers, and thank you for reading my blog, even if it's you're first/last time.